Setting Limits

I'm struggling right now to figure out how to set limits. I can only work so many hours and do so many things in a week. Right now I'm pushing those limits. I can keep up this pace short term, when dealing with emergencies, but to do it long term would not be healthy for the church, my relationship with Daughter, or my own health and well-being. Administrative Assistant has this image of my brain throwing off solar flares when I get an idea. Yesterday I had one-- we're going to focus on spiritual gifts in worship and adult ed come fall, and I realized we should tie the stewardship campaign into that as well. So, I told the finance chair that I needed to talk to her about that at some point. Do I really need to deal with that right now when it's at least 6 months away? Probably not. I think it could wait until after Easter.

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I was talking to a colleague's wife last night at the Shrove Tuesday dinner. She is a geriatric counselor, and has done programs for churches training people to visit the elderly. I immediately thought of the training we're going to schedule to do visitation training in May. I need to sit down and talk to one of the members about the agenda for the next meeting of the board that is handling all of that.

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I have a number of challenging pastoral care situations going on right now. Several are very touchy, and it is made more challenging by the fact that I don't have a long-term relationship with these individuals (who struggle with mental illness). I haven't had time to establish a relationship of trust with them, which means that I'm going to have to approach them carefully, and establishing the trust necessary to deal with the situations is going to be time consuming and take patience. I need to make the time to do that, and it needs to be sooner rather than later. I have decided though, that two can wait until next week. There are two situations I have decided need to be addressed this week.

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Then there's Daughter. She's acting out because I'm not going to be home this evening. I offered her breakfast out this morning if she would get up and get moving. She chose not to, so I chose her breakfast-- a sausage biscuit from the freezer to go. I explained to her in very plain and simple language that I was not thrilled about being gone this evening, and the people who had lost their son to suicide were certainly not happy about the need for me to come. I reminded her that emergencies come up, and that she can't complain that I'm not making time for her when she rejects the offers I make to spend time with her like breakfast this morning. She was subdued, and said she understood. She's complaining about not feeling good. Is this the aftermath of her kidney infection, or an attempt to manipulate me? Her temperature was normal yesterday evening, and her blood sugars are improving. I'm leaning towards manipulation. She did tell me she was afraid that I'd get in an accident (like the one she saw yesterday). I told her where I would be going this evening, and she said that made it a little easier.

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Setting limits is an ongoing challenge. It is also a necessity at this point.