Tuesday, March 1, 2011

It Isn't Working

So after being so awful Sunday, Daughter spent yesterday testing to see if I was still paying attention to her. She complained of constipation. I reminded her she needed to drink, and told her she could have her clear lax when we got home. She got a different staff member to bring her upstairs 20 minutes later because the constipation was getting worst. I'd asked if she'd had anything to drink since she'd been up the last time. She hadn't had anything since her milk with breakfast (it was after 1:00). I told her to I was sorry she'd done this to herself, but I didn't have to jump because she wasn't taking care of herself, and to get back downstairs and drink some water.
She was supposed to go stay with a member while I was at a meeting last night, but the woman got sick, so she had to come with me. She hadn't been able to get her computer to play DVD's, so I figured out the problem so she could watch DVD's while I was in the meeting. So she wet herself during the meeting, and then started texting me that she needed to leave now and I needed to take her to the doctor. At the first text the board asked, "Daughter?" I'm impressed with the way they comprehend the challenges she presents.
This morning she got up when I told her to and got in the shower. She got out and came out and told me she didn't feel good. I told her I was sorry she didn't feel good and to go get dressed. When I didn't come to check on her, she came into the kitchen, told me she couldn't get dressed, and then went and laid down on the floor of the half bath off the kitchen. So it continued.
As we were driving to the church I explained several things to her:
  • She might really be sick, but she'd lied to me about being sick so many times to get attention, I didn't believe her.
  • Her attempts to engage me by making herself sick were pushing me further away.
  • I had set aside all Sunday afternoon and evening to do things with her, and she chose to sleep instead.
  • Her current strategy isn't working.
  • If she wants my attention, she'd be better off being cooperative and responsible, which makes her happy and gives me time to spend with her.

Once we got to the church, I realized I forgot to give her milk with breakfast, which meant she hadn't had enough carbs for the insulin I gave her. I handed her some crackers I keep in my office for lows to make up for the lack of milk. She refused to eat them.

I have informed her that I will not listen to her complaints about not feeling well that are a direct result of her refusal to take care of herself. (She also didn't brush her hair this morning). She has responded by "sleeping". She's ignoring me and unresponsive to anything I say to her this morning. I don't think I'll be very responsive when she starts texting and calling me today to tell me how sorry she is, or that she's really sick. I know that won't help, but I'm tired of the games.

She sees her new therapist again this afternoon. I hope she can get through to her, because I sure can't.

After I wrote and posted this, I read an email that sent me to this post. Think there's a message for me in there?

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