Daughter came down a little while ago and announced that she had found her birth mother on the internet. Now Daughter has an IQ of 68. BM's name is common, so I was skeptical, but sure enough, she had the right town and the right age. I didn't know she knew the town BM lived in. The last time she had contact with BM, we had a series of 3 psychiatric hospitalizations over the course of the next couple of months. Every mention of BM since has caused psychotic episodes. We (Therapist, Psychiatrist and me) finally told her she couldn't have contact with BM.
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It might be good that I had a Vicodin before the conversation. I calmly reminded her what happened last time she had contact with BM. I reminded her that she is safe here. I told her contact with BM is not a good idea. She is thinking about BM because I had surgery today and she is scared. She's afraid I'm going to die or something, which has her thinking about the mom she lost.
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I won't forbid her from contacting BM. I am encouraged that she came to tell me about it before she picked up her cell phone to call BM. At this point I guess the important thing is to keep her talking to me about it. It would be nice if she applied the same skill and ingenuity to other things that she applied to her internet search tonight. Now it's time for another Vicodin and bed....
4 comments:
She used her skill and integrity because it was tied to her survival in a very primitive way.
The whole skin hunger thing.
And the Internet is meant to be accessible to everybody, regardless of IQ or disability.
(I bet the people who made the ARPANET clear back in the 1960s never thought of this use of it, though. Military security was tight in those times).
Good points.
That's impressive. My MIL is a Phi Beta Kappa with a PhD. and she has trouble using the internet.
It's interesting that she wanted to get a backup mom lined up, just in case.
I think there's something about this generation and technology. I once unhooked the cable to keep her from watching TV. She came down the next day and announced that something had come unhooked but it was okay because she'd fixed it....
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