Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Naming the Fear

Yesterday I received a text from Daughter's Program Manager. Daughter had started a micro enterprise early this summer. With our time away and the way bureaucracy moves slowly, she finally made her first product last week. She proudly showed me a video on her ipod of her first mini scrapbook. The agency provided supplies and support and will sell it at their marketplace. Daughter had gotten to her program yesterday and announced she was quitting her micro enterprise. PM texted and asking what they should do. I responded that they should tell Daughter to suck it up-- she'd made a commitment and needed to follow through. PM agreed, saying usually they let the individuals make their own decisions, but in this case, she thought I was right.
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Yesterday afternoon, Daughter called me, furious that PM and I had talked and decided she should keep doing her micro enterprise. I told her I was busy, and we would talk when she got home. She accused me of always being too busy to talk to her.
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When she arrived home, I was waiting on the front porch. I invited to sit with me so we could talk. Of course she didn't want to talk then. We did talk though. Eventually we worked through the smoke screen to the real issue: Daughter claimed she's never succeeded at anything and is afraid of success. She was crying as she told me this.
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We talked further, and I reminded her that she had succeeded at camp, and had been very happy and proud. She wanted me to send her to camp again this month. We also talked about what she could do with the money she makes. I suggested she could buy pop when she's out with her program and spend money on itunes.
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When she went to stay with some members while I was at a meeting yesterday evening, she was bragging about her micro enterprise. The woman is interested in seeing and purchasing Daughter's mini scrapbook. I've forwarded the reassurance and motivator to PM, and hopefully Daughter will now move forward with her project.

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