Sunday, August 28, 2011

Lessons Learned

No matter how wonderfully patient I am and how creatively I try to get certain lessons across to Daughter, I can't control the lessons she learns through my efforts. This morning it seems to me that the lesson she is learning is how to be sneakier. It doesn't stop me from figuring things out, but it does slow me down.
The sky high blood sugar tells me she's been into something, but it takes me a few minutes to figure out what, because she relocked the pantry after she broke into it. She continues to improve her skills at squeezing food out with the cable locks still on it.
If she takes her clean clothes into the bedroom immediately, it takes me longer to realize that she didn't hang them up, but wadded them up and crammed them in a corner.
If the empty CD cases aren't where I can see them, it takes me longer to discover that once again she is abusing my CD's, the CD's she isn't supposed to be using because she's ruined so many of mine in the past.
I sometimes think it's become a game as she tries to see how long it will take me to figure out that once again, she's breaking the house rules. She's now looking for the empty CD cases in the rack. That's even sneakier-- put the empty CD cases back, and I won't even notice they are missing until I want to listen to one of them.
I'll keep on teaching. I just wish I had some hope that eventually she'd learn the lessons I intend for her to learn.


Anonymous said...

A mousetrap placed on the pantry shelf next to the opening where she reaches her fingers in to grab food would be a good way to deter her.
Conventional old-school mousetraps deliver a solid pinch but do no permanent damage. I know, I tried one when I was a kid.
If not a mousetrap, a pie plate full of shaving cream might work.

Reverend Mom said...

That's a thought-- I spoke to a man who had consulted with a locksmith friend on my behalf. He's going to see about some locks she won't be able to pick. He thinks he knows where he can get them, and may have time to go tomorrow. If not, I may make time to go tomorrow.

maeve said...

I think she's learned the lessons well and has figured out how to push your buttons. What would happen if your buttons disappeared?

Or if you kept your food at your office and her lunches at her school? Then you could shop for dinner on your way home and there would be nothing to steal.

Or, of course, let her steal and deal with the consequences which she seems to not understand.

Trying to think outside the box here; Miss K is in her room sulking and failure to do her laundry and clean her room will result in my inability (unwillingness) to provide special food this week.

Our girls are very much alike. Mine is easier, I admit.

Reverend Mom said...


Good thoughts, but we have to have food around for lows, and I don't want to go to the grocery store daily-- I wouldn't cook if I had to do that.

I'm pondering my reaction to her. She may know me well enough to know she's getting to me, but I'm very good at not reacting. Her blood sugar was sky high. I conversationally ask, "what did you eat and how did you get it?" I reaized what she'd done with the laundry. "go to your room and hang up your clothes." I don't raise my voice or scold.

It's interesting, because she immediately starts yelling in response to my calm statements. When she starts yelling, I usually shut up. I may say, "I'm not yelling, and I'd ask you to show me the same respect," but often I don't say anything. There's no point engaging her at that point.

As to Miss K, at least I don't have the challenge of a birth mom involved, and for that I'm grateful.