I'm nothing if not consistent. I headed out to make a call this afternoon and realized within a mile that once again, I had left my cell phone at the church. Last spring I got rid of my blackberry and started using an android. The battery life is terrible, so I keep it plugged in when I'm in the office. I still haven't adjusted to the fact that it's no longer on my body all the time-- it is now on the windowsill next to my computer stand attached to a charger.
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I'm also a bit slow. I had promised a woman I would visit her today, but this is a short week and there's lots to do. Administrative Assistant asked if I was still planning to do the visit. I said I'd head over to see her about 3:00. I've always done my visiting in the early afternoon. I've done it that way because for almost 22 years my schedule revolved around Daughter's schedule. I had to pick her up from daycare or be home to meet the bus. As I drove away from the visit (which I really enjoyed) I realized that I now have the freedom to start all my visits in the late afternoon. I can have plenty of time in the office and still do some visits. When I finished the visit, I stopped by the warehouse store (less than a mile from her apartment) and then went out to eat. It was a nice way to end the day.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
A Happy Call
Daughter called a little after 8:00 this morning and sang good morning to me. She said she slept well. She was looking forward to going to her program. She was happy. They have fixed the medication problems. She is getting her iron again, and she is getting her cranberry twice a day.
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One of the things I realized on my personal retreat Sunday was that perhaps part of the reason Daughter is there is so that by my advocating for her the care of the other women there may improve, too. Perhaps.
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I hope that I am making a difference. It seems like I did for Daughter, and hopefully some other, as well. The knowledge makes it easier when things are stressful and I'm spending lots of time advocating for Daughter.
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One of the things I realized on my personal retreat Sunday was that perhaps part of the reason Daughter is there is so that by my advocating for her the care of the other women there may improve, too. Perhaps.
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I hope that I am making a difference. It seems like I did for Daughter, and hopefully some other, as well. The knowledge makes it easier when things are stressful and I'm spending lots of time advocating for Daughter.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Snowed
After a meeting this evening the women were talking about how organized I am. I pointed at my desk in disbelief. One said, "Oh, but you have it all up here," and pointed at her head. I laughed and told her I had her snowed.
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This morning I got to the church. Someone had shoveled the walks, but there was some ice on them. I went in and dumped my briefcase, coat and various other items in my office then grabbed some salt and went out to deal with the ice. When I got back to the door I realized it was locked, and all my keys and my coat were in my office. It was about 20 out. Fortunately, I had my cellphone, so I called a man who lives close to the church to come let me in. Fortunately, he was available and made it there relatively quickly.
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So as we were walking out together, one of the committee members pointed to the post it over the light switches. It says "cell phone?" I went back and got my cell phone off my desk, where I had placed it while I packed up my briefcase. The individual who had pointed to my post it note then entertained the other committee members with the story of what happened last week, when I took him home after a meeting. I got into my car and realized my cell phone wasn't in my pocket. I went back into the church to get it. When it wasn't where I thought it would be, I called it. When I didn't hear it, I knew it was in my briefcase in the car. Where Daughter and my passenger were laughing at me as they listened to it ring.
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Like I said, I have them snowed.
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This morning I got to the church. Someone had shoveled the walks, but there was some ice on them. I went in and dumped my briefcase, coat and various other items in my office then grabbed some salt and went out to deal with the ice. When I got back to the door I realized it was locked, and all my keys and my coat were in my office. It was about 20 out. Fortunately, I had my cellphone, so I called a man who lives close to the church to come let me in. Fortunately, he was available and made it there relatively quickly.
.
So as we were walking out together, one of the committee members pointed to the post it over the light switches. It says "cell phone?" I went back and got my cell phone off my desk, where I had placed it while I packed up my briefcase. The individual who had pointed to my post it note then entertained the other committee members with the story of what happened last week, when I took him home after a meeting. I got into my car and realized my cell phone wasn't in my pocket. I went back into the church to get it. When it wasn't where I thought it would be, I called it. When I didn't hear it, I knew it was in my briefcase in the car. Where Daughter and my passenger were laughing at me as they listened to it ring.
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Like I said, I have them snowed.
Staff's Side
Daughter called with her daily report on everything the home was doing wrong with regard to her report. I heard a staff member telling her not to be lying to me. I told her I wanted to talk to the staff member, who I have spoken with before.
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I told her I know Daughter lies. She said Daughter tells lies and staff gets written up and fired. I explained that any email I sent indicates that Daughter is unreliable. All I want is the problem fixed, if there is indeed a problem. I explained that I knew there was a lot of change going on and it was a time of transition. I said I had offered to come back in and offer training again. I said that the first time I came, they didn't know Daughter, but now that they'd worked with her and knew her, they might have some questions.
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I told her I had told Regional Director that we need to find Daughter someone to talk to at the home so she doesn't come and tattle to me. I told her I know they have a hard job, and I had been Daughter's target for over 20 years.
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I've received responses from Regional Director to my emails. She is going to find out what's happening. Their medical coordinator is not through training and on the job yet. I again offered training. She thinks they have received enough training. I think a refresher course is always helpful. She thought that was possible. As I predicted to the staff member, Daughter is furious with me. That's okay. She has to know we're going to communicate directly. She tried to tell me she had to lie. I told her there was never a reason to lie.
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She's not very happy with me, but she hasn't been calling today. I call that progress.
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I told her I know Daughter lies. She said Daughter tells lies and staff gets written up and fired. I explained that any email I sent indicates that Daughter is unreliable. All I want is the problem fixed, if there is indeed a problem. I explained that I knew there was a lot of change going on and it was a time of transition. I said I had offered to come back in and offer training again. I said that the first time I came, they didn't know Daughter, but now that they'd worked with her and knew her, they might have some questions.
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I told her I had told Regional Director that we need to find Daughter someone to talk to at the home so she doesn't come and tattle to me. I told her I know they have a hard job, and I had been Daughter's target for over 20 years.
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I've received responses from Regional Director to my emails. She is going to find out what's happening. Their medical coordinator is not through training and on the job yet. I again offered training. She thinks they have received enough training. I think a refresher course is always helpful. She thought that was possible. As I predicted to the staff member, Daughter is furious with me. That's okay. She has to know we're going to communicate directly. She tried to tell me she had to lie. I told her there was never a reason to lie.
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She's not very happy with me, but she hasn't been calling today. I call that progress.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sabbath
Today has been my sabbath day. I shared at the meeting yesterday my plans for today-- a day spent working in a guide for retreat and connecting with God. I slept 9 hours last night, which was wonderful. I went to bed early because the day had caught up with me and I was exhausted. Today I have been reading and meditating. The guide I'm using is from a different tradition, and so I'm having some problems with the theology, but I've been able to re frame some of the questions in ways that are more in line with my tradition and they have been very helpful.
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It's been snowing much of the day. I have a fire in the fireplace, so it is nice and cozy here in the family room. Daughter has called a couple of times, but has not tried to convince me to come rescue her. I've taken a couple of breaks to get on the computer and check email and such. Last night I had sent out a summary of the retreat, asking for corrections. I received one this morning (he was actually correcting information he had provided). I responded, thanking him for the correction. He responded with an email scolding me for reading his email today. His second email had "Don't Open until Monday," as the subject. Of course I opened it. Obedience is one of the issues I've been wrestling with in my reflections today.
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One of my kids from Tiny Village was injured in an accident yesterday. She ended up being life flighted to the hospital an hour away. I saw something about it on facebook. It was like a sock in the gut. I found a post from her brother, and it sounds like she's going to be okay. I also found an article on it in the paper, and it sounds like she ran a stop sign. Her brother thought she'd be home later this week, and asked people not to visit. I was relieved to see that news. It was the first time in a long time I've wished I was in Tiny Village. When I saw the news, I began praying for the girl and her extended family-- they were all members of the church. I was sorry I wasn't there to wait with them.
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I am glad, though, that I am here. I have had several emails wishing me a good, restful day today. They get that I'm human. They know I have limits. They want me to take care of myself. This is a good place to be. Now it's time to stir up the fire and return to my spiritual exercises.
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It's been snowing much of the day. I have a fire in the fireplace, so it is nice and cozy here in the family room. Daughter has called a couple of times, but has not tried to convince me to come rescue her. I've taken a couple of breaks to get on the computer and check email and such. Last night I had sent out a summary of the retreat, asking for corrections. I received one this morning (he was actually correcting information he had provided). I responded, thanking him for the correction. He responded with an email scolding me for reading his email today. His second email had "Don't Open until Monday," as the subject. Of course I opened it. Obedience is one of the issues I've been wrestling with in my reflections today.
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One of my kids from Tiny Village was injured in an accident yesterday. She ended up being life flighted to the hospital an hour away. I saw something about it on facebook. It was like a sock in the gut. I found a post from her brother, and it sounds like she's going to be okay. I also found an article on it in the paper, and it sounds like she ran a stop sign. Her brother thought she'd be home later this week, and asked people not to visit. I was relieved to see that news. It was the first time in a long time I've wished I was in Tiny Village. When I saw the news, I began praying for the girl and her extended family-- they were all members of the church. I was sorry I wasn't there to wait with them.
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I am glad, though, that I am here. I have had several emails wishing me a good, restful day today. They get that I'm human. They know I have limits. They want me to take care of myself. This is a good place to be. Now it's time to stir up the fire and return to my spiritual exercises.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Anxiety
It sounds like my analysis that fear prompted the staff member's response to Daughter's concern about the missing medication was on target. Daughter called this evening. She reported that calls had been made to other staff members and the Home Manager looking for the misplaced prescription. She reported that they have decided it is all my fault and that I am the one responsible for getting her prescriptions filled. I don't want anyone fired. I do want the problems fixed. I do wonder what mistakes are being made with other residents, especially those who don't have family to advocate for them. I suspect that there is a great deal of chaos in that house right now.
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I'm grateful that Daughter has a voice and is reporting to me. There aren't any better options out there for her in terms of houses. I am not bringing her home. I do hope they get things straightened out there soon.
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I'm grateful that Daughter has a voice and is reporting to me. There aren't any better options out there for her in terms of houses. I am not bringing her home. I do hope they get things straightened out there soon.
Short Crisis Leading into Great Day
Daughter called this morning, hysterical. She had a run-in with a staff member over medication issues. She claims staff member called me a d***** f******* liar. I told her it didn't bother me, which shocked her. I pointed out she'd called me far worst. She wanted me to come get her immediately because she wasn't safe there. I ran through the usual song and dance and told her I'd address the medication issue. I sent an email to Regional Director. I didn't include Case Manager on it (I suspect that staff was read the riot act on Daughter's medication issues and IF the staff member went off on Daughter it was because she was afraid of being fired for messing up.) I listed the usual disclaimers and asked her to look for what had become of the paperwork from Daughter's doctor's appointment, which included prescriptions for the medications in question and which the home claims they don't have. I suspect they have gotten lost in the chaos there. Daughter called back after breakfast to tell me she was better. I reminded her I had a meeting all day and wouldn't be available until after 4:00. Amazingly, she hasn't called again, and it's after 5:30.
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The planning retreat for the boards today was awesome. We covered an amazing amount of material. I paced for almost 6 hours as I led the discussions. We celebrated the accomplishments of 2011 (and we came up with a number of accomplishments), evaluated our progress on the priorities we'd set for ourselves last year, and set new goals for this year. It really felt like we were moving forward in exciting ways. The focus for this year is going to be on growing and caring for the congregation. We spent some time making plans after we split into the separate boards. The attendance was amazing. Of the 18 people on the boards, only the two people who are out of town didn't attend. We are forming a task force to begin making plans for our 40th anniversary, which takes place in 3 years. We've already had 4 people volunteer to work on it, and one of them will serve as convener.
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I finished the last meeting at 3:00. I transcribed all the information we put on newsprint and have emailed that to everyone. I've already received minutes from the board meeting I missed. Once again I am feeling very blessed to be serving with this congregation. We talked some about my plans for a sabbath/personal retreat tomorrow, and they were very supportive of it. One of the priorities we set for me last year was self-care. I named moving Daughter out as an important part of my self-care.
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I'm excited about the opportunities this coming year will bring. I have started a fire in the fire place, and this evening I'm going to relax. Tomorrow I will begin working through the guide to retreat workbook, but only after I sleep in for a bit. On Monday I'll begin working on the newsletter and all the other things that need to get done this week. I'm looking forward to a week full of a variety of different opportunities for ministry. I love my life.
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The planning retreat for the boards today was awesome. We covered an amazing amount of material. I paced for almost 6 hours as I led the discussions. We celebrated the accomplishments of 2011 (and we came up with a number of accomplishments), evaluated our progress on the priorities we'd set for ourselves last year, and set new goals for this year. It really felt like we were moving forward in exciting ways. The focus for this year is going to be on growing and caring for the congregation. We spent some time making plans after we split into the separate boards. The attendance was amazing. Of the 18 people on the boards, only the two people who are out of town didn't attend. We are forming a task force to begin making plans for our 40th anniversary, which takes place in 3 years. We've already had 4 people volunteer to work on it, and one of them will serve as convener.
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I finished the last meeting at 3:00. I transcribed all the information we put on newsprint and have emailed that to everyone. I've already received minutes from the board meeting I missed. Once again I am feeling very blessed to be serving with this congregation. We talked some about my plans for a sabbath/personal retreat tomorrow, and they were very supportive of it. One of the priorities we set for me last year was self-care. I named moving Daughter out as an important part of my self-care.
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I'm excited about the opportunities this coming year will bring. I have started a fire in the fire place, and this evening I'm going to relax. Tomorrow I will begin working through the guide to retreat workbook, but only after I sleep in for a bit. On Monday I'll begin working on the newsletter and all the other things that need to get done this week. I'm looking forward to a week full of a variety of different opportunities for ministry. I love my life.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Too Good to Be True
A book I've been reading describes a pastor's breakdown, and talks about the importance of sabbath. I read it and took the message to heart, and decided this Sunday is going to be a sabbath day for me. I have the day off (I decided I wanted the day off after the big meeting tomorrow). Originally, I was going to worship at a sister church and then take Daughter to a movie in the afternoon. Yesterday I decided I was going to stay home all day and reflect on some the exercises in a retreat guide I just purchased.
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I will stay at the church tomorrow afternoon to write summaries of the retreat, and then I will leave that behind when I come home. Sunday I will sleep in and spend the day away from technology. I'll have my Bible, the retreat guide, and music if I want it. I met with my spiritual director today, and she encouraged me to go out for a walk if I need a break. I'm excited about my plans and looking forward to it.
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So last night I explained to Daughter that I wasn't going to see her this Sunday. She said that was fine. I was really surprised by who well she took it. Then came this evening's phone call. Lots of sobbing. She insisted she had to be with me this weekend. I listened, reassured, and stayed firm. When she called back later, she was no longer trying to convince me to come rescue her.
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I know the change in routine is hard on her. A sabbath day is going to be very good for me. My spiritual director also gave me several suggestions for retreat centers where I can make a personal retreat after Easter. She had some suggestions as to how I approach it, and we will talk about it more when I see her next month. That's another blessing I have here-- access to a spiritual director.
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I will stay at the church tomorrow afternoon to write summaries of the retreat, and then I will leave that behind when I come home. Sunday I will sleep in and spend the day away from technology. I'll have my Bible, the retreat guide, and music if I want it. I met with my spiritual director today, and she encouraged me to go out for a walk if I need a break. I'm excited about my plans and looking forward to it.
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So last night I explained to Daughter that I wasn't going to see her this Sunday. She said that was fine. I was really surprised by who well she took it. Then came this evening's phone call. Lots of sobbing. She insisted she had to be with me this weekend. I listened, reassured, and stayed firm. When she called back later, she was no longer trying to convince me to come rescue her.
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I know the change in routine is hard on her. A sabbath day is going to be very good for me. My spiritual director also gave me several suggestions for retreat centers where I can make a personal retreat after Easter. She had some suggestions as to how I approach it, and we will talk about it more when I see her next month. That's another blessing I have here-- access to a spiritual director.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I Was Right
Daughter's Home Manager is stepping down. I'm not surprised. It will be hard on Daughter, because she doesn't do well with transitions and changes. She hates it when new staff starts at the house, and there will always be new staff starting. Hopefully in time it will become easier for her.
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I am having an all day meeting with all of the church leaders on Saturday. This week has been busy with the preparations. The board secretary has submitted his resignation. This is a good thing, though it will make things a big more challenging in the short run. Administrative Assistant and I are going to sit down and right a job description for the position and take it to the board before we recruit his replacement. We're going to change the way a few things are done.
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We had two retired men in the office for a couple of hours this morning putting together notebook for Saturday. I don't think they knew what they were getting into when they volunteered.
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This morning when the furnace for the office area came on, it made a terrible racket. It needs a new fan. New fans are not cheap. Hopefully they will be able t install it tomorrow. We have a number of furnaces in the building, so it didn't get too cold in the office today. Administrative Assistant was considering bringing in a space heater for tomorrow. I stayed warm because I kept going between the two offices. I have Sunday off, and I'm very grateful I didn't have to write a sermon this week. Daughter still wants to come here for worship, so I'm trying to figure things out. She wants to sing in the choir Sunday.
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This is disjointed-- a glimpse into the working of my brain. AA laughs at the way I bounce from subject to subject with new ideas popping up regularly. It does keep life interesting....
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I am having an all day meeting with all of the church leaders on Saturday. This week has been busy with the preparations. The board secretary has submitted his resignation. This is a good thing, though it will make things a big more challenging in the short run. Administrative Assistant and I are going to sit down and right a job description for the position and take it to the board before we recruit his replacement. We're going to change the way a few things are done.
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We had two retired men in the office for a couple of hours this morning putting together notebook for Saturday. I don't think they knew what they were getting into when they volunteered.
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This morning when the furnace for the office area came on, it made a terrible racket. It needs a new fan. New fans are not cheap. Hopefully they will be able t install it tomorrow. We have a number of furnaces in the building, so it didn't get too cold in the office today. Administrative Assistant was considering bringing in a space heater for tomorrow. I stayed warm because I kept going between the two offices. I have Sunday off, and I'm very grateful I didn't have to write a sermon this week. Daughter still wants to come here for worship, so I'm trying to figure things out. She wants to sing in the choir Sunday.
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This is disjointed-- a glimpse into the working of my brain. AA laughs at the way I bounce from subject to subject with new ideas popping up regularly. It does keep life interesting....
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Traumatic Evening
Daughter called yesterday evening, upset. As she told her story, I understood her fear. There is another diabetic in her house, who is described as a "real bad" diabetic. I think she is a poorly controlled diabetic, and suspect the home is not caring for her properly. Last night she had a low blood sugar, leaning to a seizure. According to Daughter, they were trying to figure out whether the new staff member had given her too much insulin at supper. This is the same staff member who decided to start giving Daughter her anti psychotic 2 hours before she ate supper.
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Daughter was scared, and wanted me to come get her. She said she didn't feel safe. I didn't go get her, and I offered her reassurance, reminding her that she has a voice and she keeps herself safe. It concerns me, though, when I hear stories like this. I worry about the residents who don't have involved family advocating for them. I wonder what will happen to Daughter when I'm no longer able to be her strong advocate. No matter how well I get the current staff trained, there will always be new staff members starting.
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I'm grateful that Daughter has a voice and not only advocates for herself, but tells me what's going on. For now, I can advocate for her and keep her safe. For the future, I'll have to trust God and other people who care about Daughter and her well-being.
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Daughter was scared, and wanted me to come get her. She said she didn't feel safe. I didn't go get her, and I offered her reassurance, reminding her that she has a voice and she keeps herself safe. It concerns me, though, when I hear stories like this. I worry about the residents who don't have involved family advocating for them. I wonder what will happen to Daughter when I'm no longer able to be her strong advocate. No matter how well I get the current staff trained, there will always be new staff members starting.
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I'm grateful that Daughter has a voice and not only advocates for herself, but tells me what's going on. For now, I can advocate for her and keep her safe. For the future, I'll have to trust God and other people who care about Daughter and her well-being.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Part of the Problem
So yesterday the Regional Manager went over to Daughter's house to look at the records and develop a plan to fix things. She clarified the orders and developed a chart that is to be filled out that records the time the medication is given and what time supper is served. She informed staff that those times had better match. Case Manager was not satisfied, and said a formal complaint will be filed the next time there is a medication issue.
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So this morning I get an email from House Manager informing us that the medication is to be given at bedtime with a snack. So HM doesn't know what RM has done. I think that is a problem. There's also the small issue that she doesn't even know what the orders state about the timing of the medication (supper, not bedtime).
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Daughter was happy when I spoke to her last night, so there is some good news in all of this.
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So this morning I get an email from House Manager informing us that the medication is to be given at bedtime with a snack. So HM doesn't know what RM has done. I think that is a problem. There's also the small issue that she doesn't even know what the orders state about the timing of the medication (supper, not bedtime).
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Daughter was happy when I spoke to her last night, so there is some good news in all of this.
Monday, January 23, 2012
A Bull Dog
Last night I received a sobbing phone call from Daughter. They had given her her anti psychotic without food again. She was afraid she'd have meltdowns at program today. She told me she didn't feel safe there, that she wanted to, but didn't trust them to handle her meds.
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I sent off a second email to the team (the first had gone out yesterday morning after I picked her up and she was such a mess). I indicated I knew Daughter could be manipulative. I mentioned the coping methods I had suggested to Daughter, and said I hadn't let her off the hook for her behavior. I also asked that the medication issues be addressed ASAP, as I knew it was hard for her to function well and control her temper without the medication on board.
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I just received a copy of an email that Daughter's new Case Manager sent to the main office of Daughter's group home. She informed them that she was getting too many emails about them messing up meds and diet. She said Daughter's issues were not beyond their ability to cope, and that she wanted a plan to address the situation immediately. She threatened them with a formal complaint. Her email brought tears to my eyes. She heard our concerns. She's going to go to bat for Daughter. She will get action. It feels good to be heard and have my concerns taken seriously.
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This Case Manager is new to Daughter. I had been warned she wasn't touchy-feely, and could be a bull dog. I like her.
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I sent off a second email to the team (the first had gone out yesterday morning after I picked her up and she was such a mess). I indicated I knew Daughter could be manipulative. I mentioned the coping methods I had suggested to Daughter, and said I hadn't let her off the hook for her behavior. I also asked that the medication issues be addressed ASAP, as I knew it was hard for her to function well and control her temper without the medication on board.
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I just received a copy of an email that Daughter's new Case Manager sent to the main office of Daughter's group home. She informed them that she was getting too many emails about them messing up meds and diet. She said Daughter's issues were not beyond their ability to cope, and that she wanted a plan to address the situation immediately. She threatened them with a formal complaint. Her email brought tears to my eyes. She heard our concerns. She's going to go to bat for Daughter. She will get action. It feels good to be heard and have my concerns taken seriously.
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This Case Manager is new to Daughter. I had been warned she wasn't touchy-feely, and could be a bull dog. I like her.
Progress?
This morning I realized it would be very helpful to have my set of church keys for the meeting tonight. I'm going to need the portable projector, which is locked up in a cabinet downstairs. Now Administrative Assistant has keys to it, but she won't be in today, so I'd have to try to remember where she placed them in her office. I decided to do one last all out search for the keys.
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I know I had them before the retreat, so I checked all the cases I took to the retreat. I looked on the floor under the front passenger seat of the car. I looked in the drawer where I got some of the things I took on the retreat. I checked the kitchen table and counters again. Finally, I gave up. I reached in my pocket for my house and car keys, and they weren't there. So, I retraced all my steps. As I was checking out the car, I caught a flash of silver under the back part of the rear car seat on the passenger's side. My church keys!
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I was delighted. I was unable to find my house and car keys, though, so I am now using the spare set. I'm trying to figure out if this is progress....
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I know I had them before the retreat, so I checked all the cases I took to the retreat. I looked on the floor under the front passenger seat of the car. I looked in the drawer where I got some of the things I took on the retreat. I checked the kitchen table and counters again. Finally, I gave up. I reached in my pocket for my house and car keys, and they weren't there. So, I retraced all my steps. As I was checking out the car, I caught a flash of silver under the back part of the rear car seat on the passenger's side. My church keys!
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I was delighted. I was unable to find my house and car keys, though, so I am now using the spare set. I'm trying to figure out if this is progress....
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Melt Downs
Daughter called last night, sobbing. She insisted I needed to come get her, she couldn't live there anymore. I figured she was manipulating because I had refused to let her spend Saturday night here because she'd been into food.
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When I went to pick her up this morning, she was a mess. She had gone off on one of the staff members. I tried to calm her down on the drive to church, but she just wasn't willing/able to calm.
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Then I remembered something. She had called at supper yesterday to complain. They had given her her anti psychotic before they even began to cook supper. This particular drug needs to be taken with at least 400 calories in order for it to be absorbed. I called the home and checked with staff, who looked it up. She was given her pill at least 90 minutes before supper. Sigh. I have sent an email to the team asking that this be clarified and that her anti psychotic be given with her supper.
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I said this didn't excuse her behavior, and I did talk to her about it, but that I was concerned that she's not getting her medication as she should be. When I dropped her off, I told her that if she felt like she was going to blow, she needed to go to her room. She wasn't to go off on staff. Apparently they have some new staff members,and they aren't doing the meds properly. With the turnover, this is going to be an ongoing challenge, I'm sure.
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When I went to pick her up this morning, she was a mess. She had gone off on one of the staff members. I tried to calm her down on the drive to church, but she just wasn't willing/able to calm.
.
Then I remembered something. She had called at supper yesterday to complain. They had given her her anti psychotic before they even began to cook supper. This particular drug needs to be taken with at least 400 calories in order for it to be absorbed. I called the home and checked with staff, who looked it up. She was given her pill at least 90 minutes before supper. Sigh. I have sent an email to the team asking that this be clarified and that her anti psychotic be given with her supper.
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I said this didn't excuse her behavior, and I did talk to her about it, but that I was concerned that she's not getting her medication as she should be. When I dropped her off, I told her that if she felt like she was going to blow, she needed to go to her room. She wasn't to go off on staff. Apparently they have some new staff members,and they aren't doing the meds properly. With the turnover, this is going to be an ongoing challenge, I'm sure.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Winter Walks
One of the saints picked me up this morning to go walk in a park with her dog. We've been doing this most Saturdays. We had snow yesterday, and it is a cold, sunny day. The sun was reflecting off the snow, and it was beautiful. The snow was actually sparkling. The snow was crunching under our feet. We saw a couple of people cross country skiing, and there were tracks from snow shoes. It was interesting, because with the leaves gone, we could see things we don't see other times of the year. I was amazed by the number of trees that had fallen, probably in the heavy snow we had in November. It really thinned out the forest. It was quiet. I was wearing heavy socks with my boots, so once I adjusted to breathing the cold air, I was very comfortable. It was a beautiful day to be out walking.
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Daughter was into food Thursday night. She wanted to come home today, but I told her I wasn't going to lock up food for her. She tried to convince me it wasn't her fault she was into food. I refused to listen, and pointed out that not only was she into food, she lied to me about it. I will pick her up for worship tomorrow morning, and will take her back after lunch. I expressed confidence that she would learn to control herself around food, and would be able to spend more time here.
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Daughter was into food Thursday night. She wanted to come home today, but I told her I wasn't going to lock up food for her. She tried to convince me it wasn't her fault she was into food. I refused to listen, and pointed out that not only was she into food, she lied to me about it. I will pick her up for worship tomorrow morning, and will take her back after lunch. I expressed confidence that she would learn to control herself around food, and would be able to spend more time here.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Laughing
My mother was a perfectionist. She was a wonderful woman, and she was very hard on herself and her kids. She also was a bit of a space cadet, and often forgot and/or lost things. When she forgot or lost something, she'd get mad. I'd tell her not to worry, it wasn't a big deal, but to her it was. It was a very big deal, and she'd be frustrated with what she perceived as her complete incompetence.
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I have inherited some her traits, like the talent for forgetting and losing things. I have chosen, though, to laugh at myself rather than getting mad. It's much more fun to laugh. I had an appointment this morning, and then went to the church, where I spent the rest of the day. I was behind, and decided that if I went into the church and got the work done, I'd better be able to relax and enjoy the time I did have off this evening and tomorrow.
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I had a moment of panic as I was getting ready to leave. I couldn't find my church keys. I asked Administrative Assistant for help. She laughed-- the keys were around my neck, where they'd been all day. I laughed, too. We talked about what else I could forget, but I think I actually made it home with everything I need.
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It has turned very cold here, so I came directly home and started a fire in my fireplace. I love my house.
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I have inherited some her traits, like the talent for forgetting and losing things. I have chosen, though, to laugh at myself rather than getting mad. It's much more fun to laugh. I had an appointment this morning, and then went to the church, where I spent the rest of the day. I was behind, and decided that if I went into the church and got the work done, I'd better be able to relax and enjoy the time I did have off this evening and tomorrow.
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I had a moment of panic as I was getting ready to leave. I couldn't find my church keys. I asked Administrative Assistant for help. She laughed-- the keys were around my neck, where they'd been all day. I laughed, too. We talked about what else I could forget, but I think I actually made it home with everything I need.
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It has turned very cold here, so I came directly home and started a fire in my fireplace. I love my house.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
More Forgetting
Tuesday night I left the church and was part way home when I remembered that I had not grabbed the checks to pay for my retreat.
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After I'd packed, I was on my way to pick up a colleague for the retreat when I remembered I'd left my cell phone on the charger. So I turned around and went home to get it.
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When I arrived back at the church yesterday afternoon, I had to ask Administrative Assistant to open my study. I couldn't find my keys. She was amused, and said she almost called when she got home Tuesday to remind me to take the checks. I admitted I had to come back to get them.
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Last night I spent some time looking for my church keys, but couldn't find them. So today I asked Administrative Assistant for the spare keys I needed once before. She suggested I might want to go back to wearing them around my neck. I've always kept the church keys and the food keys on a lanyard, and when Daughter was home they were around my neck most of the time. Right before she left today, she went into the Christian Ed office. She then came into my study and presented me with a new lanyard. The keys are now around my neck. If only I could do that with all the other things I lose or forget....
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After I'd packed, I was on my way to pick up a colleague for the retreat when I remembered I'd left my cell phone on the charger. So I turned around and went home to get it.
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When I arrived back at the church yesterday afternoon, I had to ask Administrative Assistant to open my study. I couldn't find my keys. She was amused, and said she almost called when she got home Tuesday to remind me to take the checks. I admitted I had to come back to get them.
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Last night I spent some time looking for my church keys, but couldn't find them. So today I asked Administrative Assistant for the spare keys I needed once before. She suggested I might want to go back to wearing them around my neck. I've always kept the church keys and the food keys on a lanyard, and when Daughter was home they were around my neck most of the time. Right before she left today, she went into the Christian Ed office. She then came into my study and presented me with a new lanyard. The keys are now around my neck. If only I could do that with all the other things I lose or forget....
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Winter Party
We have about 32 members of the church involved in a program that assigns mentors to at-risk elementary students. The mentors go to the school and spend an hour a week with the kids. Twice a year, we bring them to the church for a party. Today was our first party of this school year. Usually it's at Christmas time, but for a variety of reasons we delayed it this year. I was asked to be the story teller. I found an appropriate book and read it to 3 different groups of kids who were 7-10 years old. I had a blast!
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The book was good, I got them involved, and it was a reminder of how much I miss spending time with children. We had a lot of kids in Tiny Village, and they'd grown up around me so were very comfortable with me. We don't have that many kids here, and I don't have many opportunities to spend time with them. I told the program director that I would love to be the official story teller for all the parties.
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The book was good, I got them involved, and it was a reminder of how much I miss spending time with children. We had a lot of kids in Tiny Village, and they'd grown up around me so were very comfortable with me. We don't have that many kids here, and I don't have many opportunities to spend time with them. I told the program director that I would love to be the official story teller for all the parties.
Colleagues
I'm at my peer group retreat. We arrived yesterday evening (on icy roads) and sat up talking until 11:30. We talked about ministry, especially the hard parts of it. We shared stories. We shared ideas. We shared hope. We shared lots of food. We had homemade beef jerky, lots of fresh fruit. Pepperoni, cheese, and crackers. Chex mix. Chocolate covered peanuts and cashews. We at and we talked. It was a wonderful evening. I feel very blessed to be a part of this group. We talked about how late it was, but no one wanted to be the first to head off to our rooms for bed.
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This morning we have a spiritual director coming in to lead us in reflections on the cross. We will close with communion and then lunch. This afternoon I will be back in the office, refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges of ministry again.
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This morning we have a spiritual director coming in to lead us in reflections on the cross. We will close with communion and then lunch. This afternoon I will be back in the office, refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges of ministry again.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Holiday
Daughter was quite distressed yesterday when she realized today was a holiday and she wouldn't have her program. She tried to convince me to come get her. She failed. I expressed confidence in her ability to figure things out. She doesn't like it when I do that. There have been lots of people in and out of the church today. We had men finishing the painting in the basement. The mentors who work with kids in the local schools had a workshop.
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I've done a little reading, but haven't been particularly productive. This week is not as busy as last week was, so there's not the pressure to get things done. I'm fighting a cold, which doesn't help. I think I'm going to pack up early and go home. I'll take a couple of things to work on, but I may just decide that I get half a day off for the holiday.
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I've done a little reading, but haven't been particularly productive. This week is not as busy as last week was, so there's not the pressure to get things done. I'm fighting a cold, which doesn't help. I think I'm going to pack up early and go home. I'll take a couple of things to work on, but I may just decide that I get half a day off for the holiday.
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Sunday, January 15, 2012
Getting Older
Today has not been a good day for memory issues. I was headed to the church when I realized I didn't have the church keys. I turned around and came back to get them. As I was getting out of the car, I heard a jingle and discovered I'd hung the keys around my neck. Daughter thought that was hilarious.
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When we got to the church, I discovered that I had neglected to save the final edits to the PowerPoint for the sermon. My computer failed to resume and most of the slides were lost. I had other things to do before worship, so I didn't try to recreate the whole thing.
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After worship, Daughter went to my study ahead of me. When I got there, I discovered she had placed my sermon notebook in my briefcase. I took it out and put it on the shelf where it belongs and put the computer in. She came in and informed me I needed the notebook. I told her I didn't. She reminded me that I had to lead worship at the retirement home this afternoon.
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After lunch I took Daughter back to her home. When I got to the retirement home, I was almost in before I remembered I needed my notebook, which was still in the car.... A couple of friends emailed me this video this week. Somehow it seems especially appropriate today. In keeping with the theme of aging, I have not been able to embed or upload the video, even though I've tried several times and in several different ways. I guess you'll just have to click on the link, and hopefully it will work.
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When we got to the church, I discovered that I had neglected to save the final edits to the PowerPoint for the sermon. My computer failed to resume and most of the slides were lost. I had other things to do before worship, so I didn't try to recreate the whole thing.
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After worship, Daughter went to my study ahead of me. When I got there, I discovered she had placed my sermon notebook in my briefcase. I took it out and put it on the shelf where it belongs and put the computer in. She came in and informed me I needed the notebook. I told her I didn't. She reminded me that I had to lead worship at the retirement home this afternoon.
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After lunch I took Daughter back to her home. When I got to the retirement home, I was almost in before I remembered I needed my notebook, which was still in the car.... A couple of friends emailed me this video this week. Somehow it seems especially appropriate today. In keeping with the theme of aging, I have not been able to embed or upload the video, even though I've tried several times and in several different ways. I guess you'll just have to click on the link, and hopefully it will work.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Really?
Daughter called this morning. "Okay. To be honest I wasn't really that sick Friday. I just didn't want to be at my program." I reminded her that lying will get her into trouble. She assured me she could handle the consequences. I told her I'd consider picking her up after supper this evening.
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One of the saints picked me up this morning, and we went to a park to walk with her two dogs. We have snow on the ground, and it is continuing to snow off and on. The park was beautiful. The snow was fresh and white. We saw a few cross-country skiers, but for the most part we had the path through the woods and along the river to ourselves. It was a wonderful day to be out walking.
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I finally got the last of the Christmas decorations down and put away last night. I've spent much of the day cleaning the house and rearranging furniture. It feels good to be getting things back to normal. Fortunately, I don't have as many evening commitments this week, so I'll actually be home and able to enjoy the clean house....
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One of the saints picked me up this morning, and we went to a park to walk with her two dogs. We have snow on the ground, and it is continuing to snow off and on. The park was beautiful. The snow was fresh and white. We saw a few cross-country skiers, but for the most part we had the path through the woods and along the river to ourselves. It was a wonderful day to be out walking.
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I finally got the last of the Christmas decorations down and put away last night. I've spent much of the day cleaning the house and rearranging furniture. It feels good to be getting things back to normal. Fortunately, I don't have as many evening commitments this week, so I'll actually be home and able to enjoy the clean house....
Friday, January 13, 2012
Slow Learners
Daughter left mad this morning. I had told her it was time to go out for the bus, and she said I was pushing her, and I always push her, and she wasn't coming any more because she didn't like me pushing her.
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Program Manager sent me a text telling me that when Daughter got to program, she called her house and told them she was sick and they needed to come get her. So they did. PM and I didn't think she was sick. We did think the staff at her house are slow learners.
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She called this afternoon and asked me to come get her. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea, since she was sick. She was mad that PM had told me what she'd done. The conversation was brief.
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She called later, again wanting me to come get her. I pointed out the day is boring when you leave your program early. She insisted she was really sick and had been having stomach problems. I didn't go get her. I told her I might consider picking her up tomorrow evening for Sunday. She was very frustrated. I told her I thought I'd pick her up for church Sunday morning and take her right back. It will be interesting to see what her approach is tomorrow.
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It really is nice to deal with her drama from a distance. Very nice.
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Program Manager sent me a text telling me that when Daughter got to program, she called her house and told them she was sick and they needed to come get her. So they did. PM and I didn't think she was sick. We did think the staff at her house are slow learners.
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She called this afternoon and asked me to come get her. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea, since she was sick. She was mad that PM had told me what she'd done. The conversation was brief.
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She called later, again wanting me to come get her. I pointed out the day is boring when you leave your program early. She insisted she was really sick and had been having stomach problems. I didn't go get her. I told her I might consider picking her up tomorrow evening for Sunday. She was very frustrated. I told her I thought I'd pick her up for church Sunday morning and take her right back. It will be interesting to see what her approach is tomorrow.
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It really is nice to deal with her drama from a distance. Very nice.
Excruciating
I was at a meeting yesterday. It was over 70 miles from here. We had a winter storm coming in, and the individual running the meeting was not skilled in running meetings. It was excruciating. Sister Best Friend was sitting next to me (and emailing me, I discovered when I got home). She finally pointed out the meeting had been going on for 2 hours and there was a winter storm coming in. She's my hero. The leader of the committee agreed to adjourn, and asked SBF to close us in prayer. She did.
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It made me appreciate the great meetings we had this week at the church even more. We had another good one Wednesday night, when we made lots of plans for Lent. That committee was really excited about some of the ideas I brought to them.
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Daughter just left after coming yesterday evening for choir and to spend the night. Her blood sugar was good this morning, and she knew that I hadn't locked up the food last night. I'm pleased that she handled being around unlocked food. Unlike the committee meeting, her visits are not excruciating. I'm actually beginning to enjoy them.
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It made me appreciate the great meetings we had this week at the church even more. We had another good one Wednesday night, when we made lots of plans for Lent. That committee was really excited about some of the ideas I brought to them.
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Daughter just left after coming yesterday evening for choir and to spend the night. Her blood sugar was good this morning, and she knew that I hadn't locked up the food last night. I'm pleased that she handled being around unlocked food. Unlike the committee meeting, her visits are not excruciating. I'm actually beginning to enjoy them.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Daughter's Physical
Daughter had a physical today, including pelvic and breast exam. It was very hard on her. Fortunately I was there to comfort her. As I was driving to her doctor's appointment, she called to have me tell staff where her appointment was. They didn't even know where they were taking her. I consider it a miracle they were only 3 minutes late getting her there. Her blood work was excellent, so that's good. Over all, I think she's doing well. She insisted she was depressed, but I pointed out to her that I thought she was disappointed. The excitement of the move is over and now she's dealing with the reality of it. She readily agreed. I don't think she's depressed because she can still laugh and tease. She still has joy in her life. So I'm not concerned about the depression.
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Instead of eating a sandwich at my desk tonight, I'm going to go sit down in a restaurant and eat a real meal before my evening meeting today. Another good, busy day.
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Instead of eating a sandwich at my desk tonight, I'm going to go sit down in a restaurant and eat a real meal before my evening meeting today. Another good, busy day.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Daughter's Rant
Daughter called this evening and was ranting about how terrible her house is and how she belongs at home with me and if I loved her I'd come move her home right now. I put my phone on speaker phone and listened to her rant while I continued to work on material for adult education this Sunday. I said appropriate things: sympathizing with her hard week, expressing confidence in her ability to cope, telling her I loved her and would see her tomorrow at her doctor's appointment. Eventually she hung up on me. I continued with my work, somewhat surprised by how little her call distressed me. As I reflected on it, I realized that she is very frustrated by the lack of drama in her life. She was trying to get a reaction out of me, and was frustrated that I wouldn't react.
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She called later and apologized. The initial excitement of the move is over. This last week has been frustrating for her with confusion over blood work, doctor's appointment, and her spending money. I hope that once things settle back down she will calm down at settle in for the long haul. I hope things will settle down, though I have to say I don't have a great deal of confidence in the house manager right now. It will be interesting to see what her average blood sugar has been. I hope they have the results of the blood work back by the appointment tomorrow.
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She called later and apologized. The initial excitement of the move is over. This last week has been frustrating for her with confusion over blood work, doctor's appointment, and her spending money. I hope that once things settle back down she will calm down at settle in for the long haul. I hope things will settle down, though I have to say I don't have a great deal of confidence in the house manager right now. It will be interesting to see what her average blood sugar has been. I hope they have the results of the blood work back by the appointment tomorrow.
Joy
It's another busy day at the church, with people dropping by. Several have come in with huge smiles talking about what a great meeting we had last night. I like to hear things like that. I mean, after all, who likes meetings? We've all heard the saying that God so loved the world he didn't send a committee. So to hear people coming in and praising a committee meeting is a wonderful gift. To make it even better, they're talking about two different committee meetings. I agree with the assessments. They were both great meetings. We're moving forward in exciting ways. I have more energy and am much less distracted now that Daughter is no longer living with me. Tonight two medical social workers in the congregation are cooperating on a program they're calling Aging 101. They plan to share a number of resources with the group. From the sounds of things, it's going to be a very big group attending. I'm looking forward to it. My life is full of joy right now. I like it.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Incompetence
The manager at Daughter's house doesn't know what I need to do to get money to Daughter. They didn't get all her blood work done Saturday, so they're taking her for more tomorrow morning. Daughter is understandably upset. I gave the situation a few minutes of my time today, but am not getting sucked in. I will give Daughter cash when I see her at her doctor's appointment on Wednesday.
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I'm addressing the situations in emails that are addressed to the entire team-- everyone knows my concerns. I'm doing it in a nice way, but I'm putting it in writing.
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Today was a busy day at the church, and a good one. I had three committee meetings, and important work was done at each one. We are moving forward in exciting ways. It's easy to set aside Daughter's frustrations when there are so many positive things elsewhere in my life.
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I'm addressing the situations in emails that are addressed to the entire team-- everyone knows my concerns. I'm doing it in a nice way, but I'm putting it in writing.
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Today was a busy day at the church, and a good one. I had three committee meetings, and important work was done at each one. We are moving forward in exciting ways. It's easy to set aside Daughter's frustrations when there are so many positive things elsewhere in my life.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Sunday
Have I mentioned lately how much I love my life? I began to teach a new class today, and the first one went very well. It was a good group, and good discussion. I'm looking forward to next week. Daughter had a good day, too. She has been helping in the nursery some, and I heard today that she is a great helper down there and they love having her do it. The woman who coordinates the volunteers wanted to know if it was okay to ask Daughter to help, and if she could ask her more frequently. I told her to go for it.
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We had a visitor in worship this morning who is looking for a new church. She discovered that two of her friends are members here, so she stayed for the fellowship meal and spent time visiting an catching up with them. I have two other women who have been attending who are ready to become members.
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Two women who don't know one another very well and haven't been real active in the church (in both cases, their husbands are much more active and regular in their attendance) were talking during the fellowship meal. One just retired, and the other has cut back to 4 days a week. They decided they are going to co-chair a craft show they want to start at the school in the fall. Both are very artistic, and will do a good job.
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We were downstairs in the freshly painted fellowship hall for the meal. Everyone was amazed at the difference and loved the new color. The men will be back downstairs tomorrow to finish the work, and the leftovers from today's meal were left in the refrigerators for lunches this week. We'll eat well with with lasagna, salad, and bread.
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I took Daughter to the mall on the other side of town to spend a gift card Sister gave her for Christmas. She got some amazing deals, including a pair of jeans for $1.97. They will need to be shortened, but at that price, we'll shorten them. I took Daughter back, and she thanked me for a good day. She had her touchy moments with the shopping, but over all it was a very positive visit. Very positive. I'll see her again at her doctor's appointment on Wednesday.
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It's going to be another busy week at the church. I'll be at the church 4 nights in a row, and most days I have at least 3 commitments. I'm going to have planning meetings at the church and for the judicatory, and I'll also have time with colleagues as well. I'm mentoring a young woman on Wednesday, and will meet with denominational colleagues for lunch at an educational event on Tuesday. Thursday I'm meeting with an ecumenical group of pastors in this immediate area. We have two medical social workers in the congregation, and they're going to lead a workshop on dealing with issues of aging for members Tuesday night. I think we've had over 30 people say they plan to attend. I love the variety of things I will be involved with this week, and throughout the week the property guys will be working around the building, stopping in to chat about issues large and small while they're there. It will be fun.
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I've decided I'm going to get a few things done this evening to get a head start on the week. I'm not going to rush into the office tomorrow, as I have two evening meetings. It's going to be a busy week, and a good one. I love my life.
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We had a visitor in worship this morning who is looking for a new church. She discovered that two of her friends are members here, so she stayed for the fellowship meal and spent time visiting an catching up with them. I have two other women who have been attending who are ready to become members.
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Two women who don't know one another very well and haven't been real active in the church (in both cases, their husbands are much more active and regular in their attendance) were talking during the fellowship meal. One just retired, and the other has cut back to 4 days a week. They decided they are going to co-chair a craft show they want to start at the school in the fall. Both are very artistic, and will do a good job.
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We were downstairs in the freshly painted fellowship hall for the meal. Everyone was amazed at the difference and loved the new color. The men will be back downstairs tomorrow to finish the work, and the leftovers from today's meal were left in the refrigerators for lunches this week. We'll eat well with with lasagna, salad, and bread.
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I took Daughter to the mall on the other side of town to spend a gift card Sister gave her for Christmas. She got some amazing deals, including a pair of jeans for $1.97. They will need to be shortened, but at that price, we'll shorten them. I took Daughter back, and she thanked me for a good day. She had her touchy moments with the shopping, but over all it was a very positive visit. Very positive. I'll see her again at her doctor's appointment on Wednesday.
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It's going to be another busy week at the church. I'll be at the church 4 nights in a row, and most days I have at least 3 commitments. I'm going to have planning meetings at the church and for the judicatory, and I'll also have time with colleagues as well. I'm mentoring a young woman on Wednesday, and will meet with denominational colleagues for lunch at an educational event on Tuesday. Thursday I'm meeting with an ecumenical group of pastors in this immediate area. We have two medical social workers in the congregation, and they're going to lead a workshop on dealing with issues of aging for members Tuesday night. I think we've had over 30 people say they plan to attend. I love the variety of things I will be involved with this week, and throughout the week the property guys will be working around the building, stopping in to chat about issues large and small while they're there. It will be fun.
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I've decided I'm going to get a few things done this evening to get a head start on the week. I'm not going to rush into the office tomorrow, as I have two evening meetings. It's going to be a busy week, and a good one. I love my life.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Daughter's Frustrating Day
Daughter started the day frustrated. Because they hadn't cashed the check I'd sent for her spending money, she wasn't able to go out to breakfast after her fasting blood draw as we usually do. She claims that they wanted her to take her insulin before she went for the blood work-- even though she wouldn't be able to eat. I'm hoping she's wrong about that. I will send an email off inquiring. She says she had to argue with them and they insisted she was wrong, but finally went along with her. I will check on that.
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Then the rest of the women went to a movie, but because she didn't have money, she wasn't able to go. Then she called at supper time. Everyone else was eating, but she was waiting for the staff member who as on meds to come and help her check her blood sugar and get her insulin. I have no idea where the staff member was, but she wasn't in the house. It sounds to me like things are not going well there at all. I think they have major staff issues going on. Given the state of the economy, I'd think the staff members would want to hang on to their jobs.
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Of course each phone call has been accompanied by a plea for me to come get her. Each time I've told her I'm sorry she's having a bad day, expressed confidence in her ability to handle things, and told her I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. I'm glad that aren't too many days like this.
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Then the rest of the women went to a movie, but because she didn't have money, she wasn't able to go. Then she called at supper time. Everyone else was eating, but she was waiting for the staff member who as on meds to come and help her check her blood sugar and get her insulin. I have no idea where the staff member was, but she wasn't in the house. It sounds to me like things are not going well there at all. I think they have major staff issues going on. Given the state of the economy, I'd think the staff members would want to hang on to their jobs.
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Of course each phone call has been accompanied by a plea for me to come get her. Each time I've told her I'm sorry she's having a bad day, expressed confidence in her ability to handle things, and told her I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. I'm glad that aren't too many days like this.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Joys and Frustrations
This has been a great week at the church. Sister Best Friend and I planned worship themes through the end of April. Administrative Assistant is already working on the graphics for the series we're doing during Lent. We're really excited about the plans. The last two days the church has been full-- we've had about 10 men downstairs painting the main hall. Several women have been working on center pieces for the fellowship meal Sunday, and the centerpieces are going to be amazing. It's great to see the energy and enthusiasm.
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I had a conference yesterday, and it was wonderful. I have gained some insights into the way I work. One of the shifts I'm going to make is that I'm going to plan on doing housework in the morning rather than the evening. I have more energy in the morning. It's easier for me to get up at 5:00 to clean the bathrooms than to do them in the evening. I'm also going to start back walking.
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Wednesday evening I received a phone call from Daughter's doctor's office reminding me of her appointment today. I had her down for an appointment next Friday. So before I went to the conference yesterday morning, I called the doctor's office. The group home had scheduled her for a physical. Of course, they hadn't told me, hadn't prepared Daughter, and hadn't gotten her fasting blood work done. I wasn't going to be available, and I knew that would be hard on Daughter. So I sent off an email to the team, letting them know all of this and asking what was going on. I also explained I was at a conference and would not be available all day, though I'd try to check email at breaks. No response from the group home, but Nurse, Case Manager, and Program Manager were all very concerned. Program Manager needed to know if someone was going to be picking her p from program for the appointment, because she'd have to change staffing because everyone was scheduled to be off-site. Case Manager called Home Manager. Nurse called Home Manager's Supervisor. No one from the home responded to messages.
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When there was no response by afternoon, I sent off another email. Program Manager asked if she needed to cancel a meeting so she could stay behind with Daughter. More calls were made. The Home Manager for the men's home next door called and rescheduled the doctor's appointment for Wednesday at 1:00, and then called and interrupted my conference. I told her I couldn't guarantee my availability and didn't have my calendar in front of me. She couldn't understand why I didn't know my availability. Sigh. Anyway, she called back after I checked my calendar and I decided to adjust my schedule so I can be at the appointment. (There are several issues that need to be addressed with the doctor, and I don't have much confidence in the group home staff, for some strange reason.)
.
Daughter was here last night so I told her about the doctor's appointment and that they would be taking her for a fasting blood test tomorrow. Daughter was excited to see Sister Best Friend. She was happy. She was singing this morning as she waited for the bus. This morning Home Manager emailed. She was "unexpectedly" not in at all yesterday.
.
She's a little frustrated tonight for a variety of reasons. Last month she didn't get her spending money because they claimed I was supposed to give it to the home instead of sending it to the administrative offices. So this month I wrote a separate check and took it to the home. Actually, I did that a couple of weeks ago. So Daughter wanted money to go out to breakfast tomorrow after her blood work. They haven't cashed the check. Apparently they took her to a bank this afternoon to cash it, but it's made out to the home, not her, so she couldn't cash it. She's frustrated, to say the least. She's also a little anxious because I won't be there for her blood work tomorrow. I pointed out I haven't gone in with her for years. "Yes, but I always know you're right out in the waiting room." I expressed confidence in her ability to handle it. It's too bad there wasn't more time to prepare her for this.
.
I ended up spending most of the day at the church today. Several people pointed out it was supposed to be my day off, but with the holiday Monday and the conference yesterday, I had things I wanted to get done. Working today was worth it, because the worship planning we did will make the next few weeks much less stressful. There have been frustrations with the group home, but the joy and freedom to live my life is so much greater.
.
I had a conference yesterday, and it was wonderful. I have gained some insights into the way I work. One of the shifts I'm going to make is that I'm going to plan on doing housework in the morning rather than the evening. I have more energy in the morning. It's easier for me to get up at 5:00 to clean the bathrooms than to do them in the evening. I'm also going to start back walking.
.
Wednesday evening I received a phone call from Daughter's doctor's office reminding me of her appointment today. I had her down for an appointment next Friday. So before I went to the conference yesterday morning, I called the doctor's office. The group home had scheduled her for a physical. Of course, they hadn't told me, hadn't prepared Daughter, and hadn't gotten her fasting blood work done. I wasn't going to be available, and I knew that would be hard on Daughter. So I sent off an email to the team, letting them know all of this and asking what was going on. I also explained I was at a conference and would not be available all day, though I'd try to check email at breaks. No response from the group home, but Nurse, Case Manager, and Program Manager were all very concerned. Program Manager needed to know if someone was going to be picking her p from program for the appointment, because she'd have to change staffing because everyone was scheduled to be off-site. Case Manager called Home Manager. Nurse called Home Manager's Supervisor. No one from the home responded to messages.
.
When there was no response by afternoon, I sent off another email. Program Manager asked if she needed to cancel a meeting so she could stay behind with Daughter. More calls were made. The Home Manager for the men's home next door called and rescheduled the doctor's appointment for Wednesday at 1:00, and then called and interrupted my conference. I told her I couldn't guarantee my availability and didn't have my calendar in front of me. She couldn't understand why I didn't know my availability. Sigh. Anyway, she called back after I checked my calendar and I decided to adjust my schedule so I can be at the appointment. (There are several issues that need to be addressed with the doctor, and I don't have much confidence in the group home staff, for some strange reason.)
.
Daughter was here last night so I told her about the doctor's appointment and that they would be taking her for a fasting blood test tomorrow. Daughter was excited to see Sister Best Friend. She was happy. She was singing this morning as she waited for the bus. This morning Home Manager emailed. She was "unexpectedly" not in at all yesterday.
.
She's a little frustrated tonight for a variety of reasons. Last month she didn't get her spending money because they claimed I was supposed to give it to the home instead of sending it to the administrative offices. So this month I wrote a separate check and took it to the home. Actually, I did that a couple of weeks ago. So Daughter wanted money to go out to breakfast tomorrow after her blood work. They haven't cashed the check. Apparently they took her to a bank this afternoon to cash it, but it's made out to the home, not her, so she couldn't cash it. She's frustrated, to say the least. She's also a little anxious because I won't be there for her blood work tomorrow. I pointed out I haven't gone in with her for years. "Yes, but I always know you're right out in the waiting room." I expressed confidence in her ability to handle it. It's too bad there wasn't more time to prepare her for this.
.
I ended up spending most of the day at the church today. Several people pointed out it was supposed to be my day off, but with the holiday Monday and the conference yesterday, I had things I wanted to get done. Working today was worth it, because the worship planning we did will make the next few weeks much less stressful. There have been frustrations with the group home, but the joy and freedom to live my life is so much greater.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Happy Calls and January
Daughter called this morning before she went to her program and this evening right after she got home. She was happy in both calls. I like those calls.
.
As I anticipated, it's been a busy week in the office. January is always a busy month. There is the combination of wrapping up last year's business and the challenges of setting up this year's. I have a meeting with a committee leader from last year to assist in writing the committee's annual report. This particular leader took on a challenging job and I promised to help with the things that were difficult. I have a meeting with a new committee leader to provide training on the committee's responsibilities.
.
Poor Administrative Assistant has to deal with all the programmatic issues I'm concerned about and help the treasurer with all the financial aspects of closing out one year and beginning a new one. We increased her work week by one hour for this year, and I think she'll need that hour and could probably use more, as well. We'll start with the hour, though.
.
This Sunday I will begin teaching a new class. Lent will be upon us soon, which means I need to come up with a theme. Sister Best Friend is coming tomorrow afternoon and we will work on that together.
.
The church has been invaded by a bunch of men this week-- they're painting and replacing ceiling tiles in our fellowship hall downstairs. I was down to check on their progress a couple of times, and observed that there seemed to be more supervisors than laborers. They didn't dispute that. They were having a very good time. One of the men was avoiding painting by taking care of electrical tasks. Our alarm system is very old, and will need to be replaced in the next year or so. The keypad by the office entrance has become finicky, so today he swapped it out with one that is not used as frequently. He also moved a thermostat. I reminded him of a couple of other electrical issues that he could address (he is a retired electrician). I suspect he will take care of them all so that he can be there working and enjoying the fellowship without picking up a paint brush....
.
As I anticipated, it's been a busy week in the office. January is always a busy month. There is the combination of wrapping up last year's business and the challenges of setting up this year's. I have a meeting with a committee leader from last year to assist in writing the committee's annual report. This particular leader took on a challenging job and I promised to help with the things that were difficult. I have a meeting with a new committee leader to provide training on the committee's responsibilities.
.
Poor Administrative Assistant has to deal with all the programmatic issues I'm concerned about and help the treasurer with all the financial aspects of closing out one year and beginning a new one. We increased her work week by one hour for this year, and I think she'll need that hour and could probably use more, as well. We'll start with the hour, though.
.
This Sunday I will begin teaching a new class. Lent will be upon us soon, which means I need to come up with a theme. Sister Best Friend is coming tomorrow afternoon and we will work on that together.
.
The church has been invaded by a bunch of men this week-- they're painting and replacing ceiling tiles in our fellowship hall downstairs. I was down to check on their progress a couple of times, and observed that there seemed to be more supervisors than laborers. They didn't dispute that. They were having a very good time. One of the men was avoiding painting by taking care of electrical tasks. Our alarm system is very old, and will need to be replaced in the next year or so. The keypad by the office entrance has become finicky, so today he swapped it out with one that is not used as frequently. He also moved a thermostat. I reminded him of a couple of other electrical issues that he could address (he is a retired electrician). I suspect he will take care of them all so that he can be there working and enjoying the fellowship without picking up a paint brush....
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Back into the Routine
This morning routine returns. I'm grateful. I think I need it almost as much as Daughter. I realized yesterday that she doesn't do well with down time at home with me. In the future, I will limit the amount of time she comes to just hang out. I was tired the last two days, and really didn't want to go out and do anything. I was content to sit at home and watch the rose parade and bowl games (which for once went well for a team I liked). She was not. Of course, when I finally took her back, I wasn't home before she called me begging me to come get her, she'd made a mistake and wanted to be with me. I told her I loved her and looked forward to seeing her on Thursday.
.
January is a busy month. I get to ease it to it, as the only evening commitment I have this week is bring Daughter for choir Thursday night. Next week I have commitments Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evening. I think I need to focus on getting the decorations down and put away this week, while I'm home in the evening....
.
January is a busy month. I get to ease it to it, as the only evening commitment I have this week is bring Daughter for choir Thursday night. Next week I have commitments Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evening. I think I need to focus on getting the decorations down and put away this week, while I'm home in the evening....
Monday, January 2, 2012
Thinking Ahead
I had decided I was going to take today off, and then I realized I have an all day education event Thursday. That meant I'd only have 2 days in the office, which didn't seem like enough time to accomplish what needed to get done this week. So, while sitting around watching TV and relaxing yesterday evening, I figured out most of Sunday's worship service and the Wednesday noon prayer service. I also scheduled a meeting for Tuesday afternoon via email. I still need to figure out communion and the class I'm teaching Sunday morning, but I now can take today off without guilt. I think that made some time working on Sunday evening well worth it.
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It's snowing now, so we're going to watch the Rose Parade, and then we'll see if we're going shopping or hunkering down. There is a possibility I'll be taking her to her program tomorrow morning rather than back to her house today. At least I won't be stressing about getting my work done.
.
It's snowing now, so we're going to watch the Rose Parade, and then we'll see if we're going shopping or hunkering down. There is a possibility I'll be taking her to her program tomorrow morning rather than back to her house today. At least I won't be stressing about getting my work done.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012
Yesterday I was walking with one of the saints, who had a friend along from out of town. Her friend is a personal trainer. I asked how she got into it, and she explained she'd lost 200 lbs. I asked how she'd done it, and she said she got out of a stressful situation. I'm sure there was more involved than that, but I am hoping that this year will be a year when I will lose weight.
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A colleague, who is very much into fitness and running, sent me a flyer about a 10 week program for women over 50 that culminates with walking or running a 5K in March. They meet twice a week. I looked at my calendar, and I think I can make it work. I'll miss the last few Wednesday evenings because of Lent, but I won't have a problem making the Saturdays.
.
I'm feeling like Daughter has made the transition, and is settling in well at the group home. We are having another pleasant visit. She is happier and more relaxed. Which certainly cuts down on my stress. I suspect I'll still take on more than I should at the church. I love what I'm doing, though, so for the most part I find ministry energizing. I had a conversation this morning with a woman who is struggling with her husband's advancing dementia. Of course she insists she will never put him in a home. I talked to one of the medical social workers in the congregation, who called me this afternoon with a list of resources and numbers. I need to find a time to continue the conversation. It's going to be a busy month, and I'm looking forward to jumping in.
.
A colleague, who is very much into fitness and running, sent me a flyer about a 10 week program for women over 50 that culminates with walking or running a 5K in March. They meet twice a week. I looked at my calendar, and I think I can make it work. I'll miss the last few Wednesday evenings because of Lent, but I won't have a problem making the Saturdays.
.
I'm feeling like Daughter has made the transition, and is settling in well at the group home. We are having another pleasant visit. She is happier and more relaxed. Which certainly cuts down on my stress. I suspect I'll still take on more than I should at the church. I love what I'm doing, though, so for the most part I find ministry energizing. I had a conversation this morning with a woman who is struggling with her husband's advancing dementia. Of course she insists she will never put him in a home. I talked to one of the medical social workers in the congregation, who called me this afternoon with a list of resources and numbers. I need to find a time to continue the conversation. It's going to be a busy month, and I'm looking forward to jumping in.
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