Saturday, January 28, 2012


It sounds like my analysis that fear prompted the staff member's response to Daughter's concern about the missing medication was on target. Daughter called this evening. She reported that calls had been made to other staff members and the Home Manager looking for the misplaced prescription. She reported that they have decided it is all my fault and that I am the one responsible for getting her prescriptions filled. I don't want anyone fired. I do want the problems fixed. I do wonder what mistakes are being made with other residents, especially those who don't have family to advocate for them. I suspect that there is a great deal of chaos in that house right now.
I'm grateful that Daughter has a voice and is reporting to me. There aren't any better options out there for her in terms of houses. I am not bringing her home. I do hope they get things straightened out there soon.


Sar said...

And I thought my mom had a tough time advocating for me when I attended school in the 1990's and had disabilities that caused staff to treat me badly and ignore bullying and such. She was always on top of things, just the way you are helping to take care of your daughter's problems now.

I'm a new reader to your blog (I am single but wish to adopt special needs children some day and want to read some suggestions and tips for helping them so that I can know what I'm getting into and learn from the moms already out there) and I must say that although I am not a Christian, I am inspired by your example to live as Christ did, and to guide your daughter and help others to help themselves. You truly combine the best in ministry and parenting, and are a strong source of inspiration, even during your struggles.

May you have a peaceful and productive day of rest and reflection tomorrow! You have earned it. I'll also send prayers to my own powers that be that the situation for everyone in your daughter's house can be effectively managed soon!

Reverend Mom said...

Thank you, Sar.

As hard as it has been at times to raise Daughter, I remain very grateful that I adopted her. She has made me a better person.

Miz Kizzle said...

How many clients live in the house with your daughter? From what you've written it doesn't seem like there are so many that it is impossible for a well-trained staff to take care of their medication needs.
The problem is the staff doesn't seem to have the time or the understanding to medicate each resident properly. I suspect they are overworked and underpaid, subject to frequent absenteeism with co-workers expected to "cover" extra shifts at a moment's notice.
All that makes for burnout and poor performance.
What they need is an on-site nurse but I doubt there's money for one in the budget.
I applaud your resolve not to allow your DD to move back home; that would be disasterous for both of you.
Have you considered that the "damn f---ing liar" comment was a creation by your drama-loving DD? It seems over the top under the circumstances. My guess is the lady said something along the lines of "that's not true."

Reverend Mom said...

Trust me, I'm very aware that I have no idea how the supposed confrontation actually went down. I was very clear in the email to the Regional Director. All I know as fact is that I gave them the orders from the doctor and she still is not getting her iron. I know that because she brings her medication when she visits on Thursday. All I asked was that the paperwork from the doctor be located and dealt with appropriately.

She just called with another complaint. She claims the only breakfast available this morning was toast-- no protein, no milk. If this is true, they aren't following her diet plan.

I just sent off another email to the Regional Director. I made it clear that all I want is to solve the problems and offered to come back to do a refresher course on diabetes management.

I think the staff is untrained and not well supervised. I think the Regional Director has a real mess on her hands, and it will take some time to straighten things out. I said we need to find another outlet to address Lena's concerns than calling me and tattling.

There are 12 women in the house, and there are always at least 2 staff members on duty.

maeve said...

Untrained and not-well-supervised are probably the issues. This is so common in social services. They probably can't really do progressive discipline because there are so few people willing or able to do this kind of work so they can't fire them because they can't replace them. And those who are willing are often not able to understand the implications of not paying attention to detail. Not telling you anything you didn't already know -- sorry.

You are amazing! You're hanging in there when others would have quit long ago.

My girl wants to come home too. Not gonna happen right now. She needs to finish what she started and feel the consequences of her silliness.

Reverend Mom said...


I think both of our girls need to learn that they are never going to be happy where they are until they are happy with themselves. They can run away from us or to us, but they can't run away from themselves.

Hang in there! Hopefully the lifestyle has lost its attractiveness and she's now ready to try things your way.