Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mixed Messages

Yesterday was a day of mixed messages. Daughter started with what looked like pink eye, but after a nap in my study, she woke up and her eye was fine. I took her and dropped her off at her program, so she did get to go see her future home with Case Manager.
She came home and was not happy. She was not moving. She did not belong in that place. She couldn't live with 12 women. She belonged with me. On and one she went. I kept telling her I knew it was scary and talking about other times when a change had been scary and had turned out to be good. I talked about moving out of my parents' home to go to college. I didn't think my words had had any impact on her until she after supper. I sat down with my back massager to relax for a few minutes before coming back to the church for a board meeting. She came over, and with a half smile, said, "Those rooms are really big and each room has a private bathroom!" I dropped her at a friend's house before my meeting, and when her board member's husband arrived at the church, he reported Daughter was very excited about the upcoming move and talking about how great it was going to be. I was relieved to hear that report.
The board meeting was long, hard, and very good. For the devotions, one of the members asked everyone to share one thing they are thankful for with regards to my ministry. It was a little embarrassing and very gratifying to hear them marvel over the positive energy, lack of complaints, forward movement and vision, sermons, and many other things. I shared how thankful I am, too, to be here in ministry with them. For the education piece, I shared a video about differentiated leadership and dealing with the anxiety in the system. I shared a few observations, and then we talked about a committee that is full of anxiety and has the potential to stir up lots of turmoil in the church. The committee had sent a motion to the board that would be voted down as a provocative gesture. I turned it into a case study as we discussed how to deal with it. We voted down the motion and came up with two things we were going to do to address the underlying issues. It was exhausting, but we all felt good about our discussion and the way we handled the situation.
After all this positive affirmation, we heard from the nominating committee. They are quite frustrated by the trouble they are having finding people willing to serve on the board. The board is excited about what's happening at the church and the direction we're going, so it's very frustrating it's so hard to find people who want to be part of the process. I expect this problem in a conflicted, struggling church. It's unexpected in a church in which there is supposedly excitement and enthusiasm for the future. We suggested some names and assured the people on the nominating committee that they are approaching this in the right way. The messages of the meeting seemed as mixed as the messages Daughter is giving me about the upcoming move. Maybe there are similar dynamics at work. Change is hard and scary, even when it is good change.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

sigh... that seems to always be the way doesn't it? Everyone has an opinion on how things should be done, but no, they don't want to serve on the committee or help in anyway. I guess because then they wouldn't have anything to complain about?? In my experience, it's always the same people that step up to help or volunteer no matter the need. What would we do without them?? Glad to hear that your daughter did not have pink eye... do you suppose she rubbed it or poked it herself to get out of going to visit there today? Poor thing, she is so conflicted and scared of the unknown. I hope she can move in sooner than later so there is not too much time for her to dwell on it and worry herself (and you!).