Sunday, October 2, 2011

An Honest Conversation

Daughter asked to talk to me at bedtime. I want to record some of that conversation now, because it was pretty amazing. I can't remember all the words, but basically, she was talking about how guilty she feels about the way she's been acting. Part of her wants to do more, but her fear gets in her way. She's terribly jealous of her friends from Tiny Village who are living more or less independently. She wants to be out on her own, but terrified by the thought of leaving here. She wants to be under her own roof, and wants to stay with me until I die.

I listened, and then I reminded her that before we moved, I told her that after we'd been here a year, we'd start looking at options for her. I reminded her of how well she did at camp. I pointed out that a residential placement would be like that, and if she could prove she could be responsible away from me, there would be the possibility of more freedom and less supervision in the future. She didn't embrace the idea, but she also didn't reject it. She talked about how frightened she was when she first went to camp. I told her that moving away would be the same way, she'd be frightened at first. I also reminded her we'd still be a family and spend time together. She rolled her eyes and informed me, "I know that."

The conversation left me confident that a residential placement is the right thing for her, and the timing is right, too. It was a good conversation, and she went to bed happy. I'm going to go to bed happy, too. In fact, I'm headed there now....

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