Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Fear Surfaces

Sister closed on a house yesterday, and after being divorced for several years is finally leaving her ex (they stayed together while he tried to get a mortgage modification to something he could afford on his own-- he finally gave up after several years of trying.) She sent me a text this morning inviting me to come see her new house. I decided we'd go.
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I painted and waited for deliveries while she took my larger car to buy things like a lawnmower and other needed items. Sister was very grateful for my help. I enjoyed seeing her and was glad I could give her a hand. Daughter started out the day doing great. She helped Sister with the shopping. Part way through the afternoon she retreated to the car.
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On the way home she apologized. I told her she'd been helpful, and it was okay if she'd worn out. Finally she told me what was bothering her. "Mom, it reminded me that I'm moving."
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We talked about her fears. She pointed out that this is different from camp, because it's permanent. I reminded her she'd be home frequently. She told me she'd miss Kitten, and my cooking. She wants to get off the bus at our house. We talked about it, I reassured her, and she was fine by the time we got home. I hope it will continue to be as easy to calm her fears.
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Sister's new home is a little closer to us-- she's just over an hour away now. I am happy about that. She has never never lived alone. I gave her a list of tools she was going to need. I took my card table and chairs and a step stool for her to use until she gets moved in. I also took some tools over. I realized that I was doing what Mom and Dad would have done for her at one time. I was glad I could do it for her.

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