Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm Good

After her success, with Sister last night on the Nice Guy beating her story, Daughter called Case Manager from the bus this morning to repeat the story to her. Fortunately, CM called me. CM was quite concerned about the allegation and said it would have to be investigated. I told her I wasn't sure I believed it. She promised that she would bring Daughter into her office and call and put me on speaker phone so I could participate in the conversation.
When she called, she began by asking Daughter what had happened. I said I wanted to say some things first. I then talked about how Nice Guy had hurt Daughter with his words and constant talk about marriage, but people didn't understand how much that hurt. I reminded her of the scene in Harry Potter where Ron is attacked by a brain, and Madame Pomfrey says that ideas and thoughts can leave worst scars than anything else. I talked about how people understand the need to break up when someone hurts you physically, but not when they hurt you with their ideas or words. I told her I knew that NG had hurt her deeply, and understood her pain. I said I knew that she wanted everyone to recognize that she was in pain. I told her sometimes it's easier to tell people someone hit you than it is to get them to understand emotional pain.
CM asked Daughter if that was what had happened. Daughter acknowledged that it was. We told her she had to be careful about making accusations like that, because they could cause lots of trouble, and acknowledged that it was too bad that hurtful words weren't enough to cause people to be sent to jail. We both told her how proud we were of her for making the right decision to keep herself safe by breaking up with NG.
I've had a couple of more calls from Daughter and CM today. I've asked CM to please explain to staff that Daughter can't handle having a boyfriend and that they should encourage her to focus on her girlfriends and having fun with them. I promised Daughter we would go to a movie together this weekend. I've told her to sit where she can't see NG and focus on her work and her ipod. CM commented that a move would probably be good for Daughter, as it would get her out of the messy relationships in the workshop. I think she's right. God will provide the right place at the right time. For now, I'm grateful that I was able to figure out what was going on and prevent the mess of an investigation into false accusations. I do understand Daughter (at least most of the time).

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