Conversations

I picked up Daughter from the workshop for an appointment with Therapist. For the first time in several days, no one came out to tell me about health issues with her. She didn't call me all day, even when I was a few minutes late picking her up. I took these as signs of progress. As we were driving to Therapist's office, I asked about her day. She said she'd had some problems with tremors. I asked if she kept going in spite of them. She said she'd tried.

.

I asked about Nice Guy. She told me that all he could talk about all day was when they get married next November (they started dating in November, so that meets my one year rule). She then began to talk about how she knew she had a lot to do before then to get ready for marriage, and she had it all figured out. She was going to have to figure out the washer and dryer. She wanted me to supervise her and double check her on managing her own pills and insulin. She thought we should set up a calendar and she could get a sticker on days she did these things properly. A sticker chart for marriage-- great idea. I sat there listening, afraid to respond. A couple of times she asked me what I thought, and I said, "I'm listening." Finally, I said, "Are you going to be ready to have sex in November?"

.

"I'll have to think about that."

.

"Sex is part of marriage."

.

"What if NG doesn't want sex?"

.

"He will."

.

"How do you know?"
.

"He's a man."

.

She wanted me to stay with her as she talked to Therapist. She was subdued. I guess pointing out that sex is involved with marriage had taken the wind out of her sails. When she mentioned getting married in November, Therapist pointed out that whenever she starts talking about things too far in the future, she freaks out and does things to show us she's not ready, and that's why we were no longer talking about her living independently. She suggested to Daughter that she focus on the here and now, and enjoy the time she spends with NG now. Daughter acknowledged the wisdom of this, but was then silent, as she had planned to spend the session making the sticker chart and didn't know what to do now.

.

I suggested she tell Therapist about Neuro. That led to the following conversation between Daughter and Therapist.

.

"I hate him!"

.

"Why do you hate him?"

.

"He's the devil."

.

"What makes him the devil?"

.

"He figured me out."
.

"What did he figure out?"

.

"That I was faking the four seizures on Sunday."

.

She later backtracked on her statement that she was faking the seizures. I don't think she was completely faking them, but I do think she was exaggerating them. I was amazed that she had understood his accusation, and that she was acknowledging the truth in it. Amazed. She was subdued on the way home, but once we got home, she asked for the chores she needed to accomplish and got busy. So we've short circuited her abuse of insulin, her skipping medication, locked up the knives, and called her on the seizures. All I have to do is wait for her next trick.