There are times when Daughter hears voices that alarm Therapist and me. When she starts talking about hearing a witch's laugh and the devil telling her what to do, we become concerned. There are other times, though, when she says she's hearing voices because that is the best way she knows to express her distress. Sometimes she's actually experiencing racing thoughts, which can be related to stress or some mania that's not being controlled by her medication.
For me, the challenge is figuring out what the current situation is. Adding to the challenge is the fact that she is "unreliable." That's the nice way I warn people that she lies. She still engages in some of the crazy lying that is part of RAD. She doesn't do it as much, but as any of you who have spent much time with RADs know, she is very convincing when she's lying.
There are usually warning signs when she's becoming psychotic. Often she will think I'm calling her when I'm not. When this happens and she comes to find out what I wanted, I will often make something up, as I don't want her to panic about the voices being back. I will also become much more observant. Sometimes the voices will vanish without any problems, other times it will escalate to the point that she needs a medication adjustment or worse case scenario, a hospitalization.
This morning I let her sleep in, and she woke up chipper and very affectionate. I'm getting lots of hugs today. That's a sign that she's still stressed, but at least she's dealing with it appropriately. When I call Dad today, I think I'll let her talk to him. She is very worried about Grandad. The reality is, he is going to die. Not today or tomorrow, and probably not this year, but it will probably be within the next year or two.
Daughter continues to fear abandonment. That's why she was in such a panic when I forgot my cell phone and she couldn't reach me. Any threat to the health of a family member is very hard on her. As much as I've assured her that I'm going to take care of myself and the diabetes won't be a problem, she's still very concerned. The other night she told me she'd give anything to go back and start her diabetes over again and protect me from it.
After 18 1/2 years, I understand her pretty well, but there are still times when I'm stumped. The good news is at 21, she's still gaining skills and maturing. I continue to have hope that she will be able to handle community employment and live semi-independently some day.
2 comments:
I never realized how bad my racing thoughts were, even though they prevented me from sleeping and woke me in the night.
When my MD gave me an Rx for Xanax, I then realized that this was an issue with me. If I, with decent coping skills, had my life disrupted by this issue, I feel for your DD.
I think she just feels overwhelmed right now. She just told me she's worried about her friends who are getting married today. She has stress on every front right now. It's now wonder she has racing thoughts.
Post a Comment