Blood Sugars, Again

I reduced Daughter's Lantus from 20 to 18 in response to the lows she'd been having. She was then running high, so I went up to 19 units. For a few days, things were perfect. Then she started running high. I quizzed and questioned her, and she swore she hadn't been into any food. I finally decided that maybe the Lantus had gone bad, and started a new vial. She continued to run high, and continued to swear she hadn't been into anything. Yesterday she was high in the morning, but her blood sugars were good the rest of the day. I thought we were getting back on track.

This morning her blood sugar was sky high again. I also discovered some cookies were missing. Thinking I had the explanation, I confronted her this morning. Yes, she'd been into the cookies, but she hadn't done anything last night, she swore to it. I told her that I'd thrown out an expensive vial of insulin, trying to get her blood sugars down, and had been about to dispose of another one. She then stormed up to her room because I was so mean as to not trust her, leaving her french toast and sausage to get cold on the table. When she came back down she continued to insist she hadn't done anything last night. I finally got out of her that she'd taken more of the spinach and artichoke dip and crackers than I told her she could have for her snack. Of course, she didn't tell me this until after I asked her specifically if she'd done it.

I get so tired of this. She begs me to trust her. I want to trust her. I can't follow her around 24 hours a day to monitor her eating. I also can't safely figure her insulin needs when she is lying to me. She has apologized several times today. She is sincere in her apologies. Tomorrow she may do the same thing, and tell me the same lies. Therapist and I keep telling her we need to be a team to manage her diabetes, and pointing out that lying hurts the team. She knows that. She gets it. She does it anyway. I think it is the part of her illnesses I hate the most.