Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Predicting the Unpredictable

After my second night in the recliner, I find myself pondering again my Dad's health. He is very alert and with it mentally, and very weak physically. He won't go out without a wheelchair. He's taking a nap after doing just about anything. He eats breakfast and takes a nap. He sits at the table helping me sort through mail and then needs a nap. Yesterday afternoon I had him out for a couple of hours. I took him to the doctor, then he waited in the car while I got groceries and prescriptions and we stopped by to see Mom. She was very pleased to see him.
.
It took over an hour for me to wake him up (he was sleeping sitting up in his desk chair) and convince him to go to bed. My sisters are convinced he helped me with mail because he's putting his affairs in order before he dies. They are more pessimistic, I'm slightly more optimistic. Brother is just avoiding the whole situation, and I'm the only sister who is still speaking to him. Far Away Sister actually hung up on him yesterday. Because they were on cell phones, it lost some of its impact. He thought the call might have been dropped. He sent her a series of text messages justifying himself, and she wasn't in any hurry to respond or even acknowledge them.
.
Sister has a college friend visiting from Europe and various other things going on in her personal life that make her less available to help. Brother is still trying to figure out seating arrangements for the reception. It's a real challenge as his family is so unreasonable that we want to sit together. I guess it's easier to separate the bride's feuding family than to put his loving family together. Of course, two of his sisters are not speaking to him at the moment, so I guess maybe we can become a feuding family at some point. I'm still speaking to him, so the other sisters are demanding updates from me.
.
I've arranged in home care 3 days a week for 3 hours a day for Dad. He even signed the check to pay for the first month. That will start on Friday. I think he's somewhat depressed, but that's not too surprising, all things considered.
.
Coming back to finish this post many hours later.... Dad's visiting nurse saw him today. She agrees that he is much weaker than he was before the last hospitalization. We had him out for longer today-- hair cut, visit mom, lunch, pick up tux. He couldn't keep his eyes open by the time he got home. He's been sleeping since right after the nurse came.
.
The doctor has ordered a wheelchair for him and stopped one of the diuretics. The blood work done yesterday showed he was close to dehydration (even with 40 lbs of extra fluid).
Apparently it got Brother's attention when Far Away Sister hung up on him and both she and Sister didn't respond to his calls and text messages. He brought over a wheelchair for Dad that he borrowed from the church and took Dad to get his tux and lunch. They also got Dad a new winter jacket.
.
Daughter and I went to lunch and then to Target. We had a good conversation over lunch. Daughter was beginning to act out because she is feeling neglected. We talked about how hard the situation is, and I explained that I need her to be responsible right now. I assured her I'm still paying attention to her needs and that she's still important, and asked for her help managing my stress. She was very cooperative when we got back to the apartment, immediately doing the things I had asked her to do in the kitchen. Brother and Dad were back, and Brother stayed long enough to put together the stool I bought for Dad to sit on when he's shaving. Dad is delighted with the stool. He told me today he doesn't need it because he's weak, but because his balance is off when he stands in one place. If he wants to believe that, I'll let him.
.
I have a sore eye, and haven't decided yet if it's pink eye or not. I'm considering going to an urgent care center. This week is emotionally exhausting. The highlight of the day came when we showed Mom a book of family pictures that Far Away Sister and Niece created on snapfish.com. Mom has a very short attention span, but when she saw the book, it was amazing. She just stood there, staring at the pictures. She spent a lot of time looking at each page, and was careful to make sure she wasn't missing any. Brother finally got her to sit down on a love seat. When Daughter and I said our good byes, she was holding on to the book with her finger stuck in to mark where she had left off. I called Far Away Sister and sent her a picture of Mom staring at the pictures. She forwarded it to Niece. They were delighted. Far Away Sister said she cried when she heard Mom's reaction to the book. Dad was amazed, and delighted by Mom's reaction.
.
This post rambles all over the place, but that makes it a pretty accurate reflection of my life right now....

No comments: