Tuesday, February 3, 2009

And the Pain Continues

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone today with Far Away Sister. We were consulting on the documents the attorney has drawn up for Dad to sign tomorrow, and making sure that the language in the will and trust documents accurately reflected Dad's wishes. We also spent some time talking about UB. UB still has not had the conversations with other family members owning responsibility for what happened. We don't think UB understands that what UB did was a crime. Dad told me today as I was explaining what the attorney would be bringing him to sign that he thought UB was a little mad at him for telling Far Away Sister and me about what had happened. I got angry at that. Dad didn't tell us. I went online to check out calls from his bank about possible fraud on his credit card. I discovered the massive payments on credit card bills that did not belong to Dad. I found the one we were fairly certain had not be authorized, and that Dad confirmed he hadn't known about. We told Dad, Dad didn't tell us. Dad had loaned UB a very large amount of money, and then helped himself to more.
UB should be sucking up big time to the entire family, not blaming others for the problems. I fear that UB has yet to hit bottom, and I wonder how far down bottom will be. It concerns me, because I love UB, and don't want to see UB suffer (too much).
As soon as the paperwork is signed tomorrow, it will be taken to the bank. Far Away Sister will then go into the branch of that bank near her and make all necessary changes to assure that UB has no access to any of the accounts. Far Away Sister has already talked to her local bank about the situation, so they will be waiting for her. I hope that tomorrow will bring some peace and I will no longer be this exhausted. I hope that once I know that Dad's money is safe and that everything has been done that is necessary to preserve the assets to provide for Mom's continuing care, I will be able to let go of this worry.
But somehow, I think I may be being overly optimistic. This kind of betrayal leaves scars. Far Away Sister and I were speculating on how Dad must feel right now. We know how much pain this has caused us, what must it be like for Dad. When I talked to him today, he sounded pretty chipper. I think he has been suffering with this much longer than Far Away Sister and I have, and I think he is relieved that we are taking care of it. I just hope we are doing it in a way that respects his right to have control of his future and his money. I hope he sees us as supporting him, and not taking away his rights. The balancing act continues.

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