Monday, June 11, 2012

Early Morning Text

Daughter got her hair cut on Saturday.  Hair has always been in a big issue with her.  She is biracial, I am white.  I find that African Americans sometimes criticize the way I do her hair.  When we were in Inner City, I had women in the church who were willing to guide and teach me.  Since then, I've been pretty much on my own. 

Her first psychiatrist when we were in Tiny Village was Jamaican.  Her last appointment with him was the day he got on her about the need to take better care of her hair.  She was 9 years old.  When we were in Inner City, she wore her hair in multiple braids, like  most of her classmates.  She didn't want multiple braids once she was in a majority white school.  I began pulling it back in one or two braids, and often by the end of the day her hair was looking a bit ragged.  At the end of the long day, he told her she was a big enough girl to take better care of her hair.  I was the one who took care of her hair, and she was very sensitive to criticism of it.  I found a new psychiatrist for her.

When she went back to her house yesterday afternoon, her hair was beginning to poof a bit.  She had not had any of her wraps to wrap it Saturday night after the beautician straightened it (just with a straightening iron).  When she called me last night she was upset because she said the staff (all African American) were criticizing her hair and said she should have had it relaxed.  I asked if she was happy with her hair.  She said she was, and I told her that was all that mattered. 

This morning she sent me a text message with a picture of herself.  It said, "They cant judge for who i am or what i look like because i am strong and beatiful."  It made my day. 


abrianna said...

Good for her! I have hair that poofs and it is not fun, but if there is humidity in the air, you really can't control it. Subdue it sometimes but the poof factor is always there.

And the psychiatrist and staff? Really? Have they nothing better to do? or is the staff willing to work on her hair?

Didn't think so. The nerve.

Reverend Mom said...

I warned her when I dropped her off to wear a shower cap in the shower, because once it got wet it would no longer be straight. We live in an area with high humidity, so no matter what she does, it will poof.

Some of the staff members have been willing to help her with her hair. She has had beautiful cornrows several times. Of course, the last time she didn't like the way it pulled on her scalp-- I think they were a little bit tight.

abrianna said...

There are some good creams out there that can help, but it takes some experimenting. I had to experiment quite a while before I found stuff that would work. Also my hair does not poof as much as it did when i was younger.

Sometimes companies will change the formulation or discontinue the product...irritating as all get out.

There is also a site called forums devoted to different hair types. You do not have to sign in to read the forums. You do have to sign up if you want to ask a question.

I am in the /d/e/e/p/ /s/o/u/t/h. Talk about high humidity all.the.time.

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks. Daughter doesn't like to use the various creams and oils I've gotten her, and when she tries, she doesn't do a very good job of spreading them through her hair. I'll check out the website, though, and see what they suggest.

abrianna said...

I hope it helps. You do have to spread it throughout the hair and you have to experiment to see how much you need. With her hair a bit shorter and maybe thinner? - she might not need as much as she did before.