Thursday, March 12, 2009

Learning

Occasionally, Daughter learns from her mistakes. Other times....
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A couple of weeks ago Daughter failed to bring the recycling bins in when she walked past them after getting off the bus. The wind blew them away, and the next day I spotted one of them about 100 yards out in the corn stubble in the field beyond the church parking lot. I made Daughter go retrieve it. The field was very muddy, and she had a real challenge cleaning off her boots following her excursion into it. I made some comment along the lines of this serving as a good reminder of why she should bring the recycling bins in right away.
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Yesterday morning, I heard the recycling truck go by, and within minutes, I heard the front door open and Daughter go outside to retrieve those bins. The wind was strong again yesterday, and she remembered her trip into the corn stubble, and didn't want to repeat it. I was pleased that she actually had made that connection, because too often she doesn't.
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Yesterday evening we were over at the church for supper and worship. A week ago she had helped clean up after the meal and then gone out of the basement door (so I wouldn't see her), and gone home. I had not been happy (especially since that was the day I had brought her home from the hospital following her premature dismissal). I told her she was not allowed to leave the church like that without checking with me first. Once again she stayed downstairs to help clean up after the supper. When she was done, she noisily made her way up the stairs, crossed the back of the prayer room where worship was, and disappeared into the office. For a brief moment, I hoped she was putting down the plates and her book bag and would come back in for the remainder of her worship service.
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When she didn't return, I hoped that I would go home and find her working on her chores. I am always optimistic. It's an occupational hazard. When I came home, I called her. She was upstairs watching unauthorized TV. I was not happy. She came down and told me she had left a note on my desk at the church telling me she was coming home. I told her to get to work. That prompted a rage. I was called names, given suggestions as to where I should go, and generally told how terrible I was until she went to bed. I had asked her to help me in the kitchen, but she refused, of course. So I cleaned up the mess from the items I had made for the church supper (as usual, I had been running late and hadn't had time before). I stood down there and bagged up items we'd bought at Sam's Club the previous day for the freezer. She finally stopped screaming and slamming things around and took her shower and went to bed.
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Next week, she will not be allowed to stay downstairs and help clean up after the supper. Next week, she will come upstairs for worship and be told she is not allowed to leave until I do. Next week I will take the remote control for the TV over to the church with me, so if she does ignore my rules, at least she won't be able to watch TV. She may not learn, but I do.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You could always lock the remote up with the meds....KJK

Reverend Mom said...

You're so smart! That's why I'm running away with you next week.

Anonymous said...

OK I am exhausted reading how much she is taxing your energies.

Have a wonderful break!! You deserve it!

Any chance the respite provider could stay next wedns too and you could be home while still on break???

Nice thought isnt it. course I guess t would prolong the payback.

owl

Reverend Mom said...

Owl,

This break will be good. Therapist has ordered me to arrange for respite services weekly. I should have enough waiver money for 5 hours a week. I've yet to decided what day I'm going to schedule it....