Monday, July 23, 2012

My Turn

Last month my spiritual director pointed out that my first year here, my focus was on the congregation and getting to know them.  Last year I focused on Daughter, and getting her adjusted and seeing that she was safe in her new home.  This year, it's time to focus on myself.  My goal is to find the balance that has been missing from my life.  I've been spending some time in prayer and with my journal as I contemplated how to achieve this elusive balance. 

This morning is my first day back in the office, and instead of coming in bright and early, I waited until about 9:00 to arrive.  Instead of jumping right into work, I took the time to unpack and organize a little bit.  I have set some goals for how I work, including working at the desk at home, rather than having my computer open in front of me wherever I am. 

I have set up a spot in the formal living room (seldom used) for my daily personal worship.  I'm not sure it will stay there, but that's where it is for now.  I want it someplace away from distractions, some place that has a single purpose.   So far, it is working well.  I have a candle I light when I'm there.  I haven't used a candle for a while, but for years it was a signal to Daughter that this was my time with God and she needed to wait.  Of course, there were times when she'd stand just within my peripheral vision fidgeting as she waited.  There were times when she would be so distracting I'd interrupt what I was doing to see what she wanted.  She'd protest that she could wait, and I'd tell her to just tell me what she wanted.  I don't have her distracting me now, but Kitten did end up on my lap.  I realized that it isn't very often I'm sitting still with an empty lap.  I think Kitten is going to like my new routine.       

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