Friday, January 30, 2009

Home and Rehab

Dad was transferred to rehab yesterday, not because he was better, but because he was "stable." He still has about 50 pounds of fluid. He was just discharged from rehab on December 23, and he was delighted when they told him they'd give him the same room. I don't think he's going to get much better. I think his life is rapidly winding down.

I told the Unauthorized Borrower (UB) that we were aware of what had happened, and were angry and hurt, but also concerned about the situation that had led to this. As I suspected, UB was in deep financial trouble. UB had already decided to see financial and personal counseling. I told UB that the power of attorney was being changed, and that UB needed to talk to the rest of the family and make amends.

Dad's will is in the process of being changed. UB will not get an initial bequest that will go to others in about the amount of the loans. The rest of Dad's estate will be put in a trust to provide for Mom's care. The trust should provide for her care for the rest of her life, and have some left for additional bequests upon her death, which will be equal. Dad was delighted to know that Mom would be provided for and things would be put right. I think we were able to make some good come of a very positive situation, as the initial bequest will be very helpful to others who struggle financially.

Here is the official bit of dementia humor for today's post: We went over to say goodbye to Mom before we headed home yesterday. When we arrived, she was standing in the dining room observing things. Many of the residents hang out in the dining room through the day-- their private rooms are around a core that has the dining room and two lounge areas. Mom was wearing a long sleeved pull over, and had her arms in another one. She was pleased to see us. I gave her a hug (very one-sided, since her arms were trapped in the pullover) and asked her if she was putting it on or off. Of course she didn't answer, but I didn't expect her to. I tried to help her put the pull over all the way on, and she objected. So we talked to her, gave her hugs, and said good-bye with her arms in this pull-over. I told her she could give us hugs back if she didn't have her arms stuck in a pull-over, but it didn't seem to phase her. I told her Dad was moving to rehab and that someone would take her to see him today. I'm not sure how much she understood. But she seemed content.

My goal was to get home before dark last night, as I knew that some schools had been closed yesterday due to bad roads. We got home at dusk, so I was pleased. The state routes were fine, but the back roads had icy spots. Unfortunately we had to take some back roads to pick up the cats. It was good to sleep in my bed last night (at Dad's I get the recliner). I even got to sleep in until Sister called at 8:00. Dad has his cell phone with him at rehab, but he isn't answering our calls. Sister is going to go check things out. We think the ringer may have been changed again or something.

Today I have to get ready for worship, and we're going to have to get to the grocery store. We're out of milk and cat food. Both are essential. It's good to be home. In just over two weeks we head back up to Dad's for Brother's wedding. Cousins will be there from out of state, and it will be good to see them. We're hoping that Dad will make it to the wedding. Any time we have with him beyond the wedding will be a bonus.


Torina said...

Glad you got the financial situation figured out! Welcome home!

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks, Torina! I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Enjoy your time alone once the kids get back to school this week.