Friday, December 3, 2010

So There!

Today was my day off, and I actually slept in. It was almost 9:00 when I got up. Daughter got up quickly when I called, as she knew a member was coming to pick her up at 10:00 to walk her dog in the park. Daughter loves those walks. At noon, another member, V, came and picked her up for lunch and a movie. She told me she'd take her home, and I could just come get her when I finished what I was doing.
V has made Daughter her project. She wants her to stop wetting the bed, and promises her all kinds of rewards if she'll stop. Daughter enjoys the attention, but doesn't appreciate the pressure.
I took advantage of the time without Daughter to go to the warehouse store, where in addition to detergent and paper products, I bought items for the open house and some Christmas presents for Daughter. I did some other open house shopping, and then came home and unloaded the car, securing the food, and wrapping Daughter's Christmas presents. It was about 5:00 when I headed out to pick up Daughter. The plan was to pick her up and then stop at one more store to pick up a prescription for her and a couple more items I hadn't been able to get.
When I arrived to pick Daughter up, she had been sleeping. They had a good time. V loaded me down with homemade vegetable soup for supper and a cheese ball and some peanut butter fudge. Daughter went out ahead of me, and V noticed that Daughter had a wet spot on her jeans. I felt bad about the couch, but V assured me it was fine, she had grandchildren.
I still wanted to stop at the store, but couldn't leave Daughter in the car with the food. I didn't want to embarrass her by making her walk through the store with wet jeans. I told her she could tie her jacket around her waist and that would cover the wet spot. The sleeves weren't quite long enough, so she ended up holding the jacket. When we got back to the car, she was frustrated and embarrassed. I was asking her about her day, and pushing her a bit as she was noncommittal about the movie. Finally, her frustration burst out. "V keeps telling me that if I stop wetting the bed when they get back from Florida she'll do all these things with me. She's pressuring me! I can't stop wetting the bed!"
Suddenly it made sense why she'd wet herself during a nap, which is unusual. It was her way of showing V that she couldn't stop her from wetting the bed. It was her, way of saying, "So there!"


Anonymous said...

Do you think your DD has some emotional or psychological payoff in bed-wetting? She's done it for about a year, right?

Reverend Mom said...

Just over 10 months. I didn't realize it had been that long until you said something. Therapist and I had some conversations about it, and the best we could come up with was that it had a 2 fold purpose:

1. It is a way of expressing her anger.

2. It help her feel safe when she's too anxious.

I work real hard not to turn it into a control thing or a way to get back at me. That's why I work so hard at not reacting and making it her problem.