"It's Not Fair!"

The deal with Daughter has always been that after she shows me she can keep her room clean, we will finish decorating it. It has been painted, but she needs new curtains, and we've talked about new rugs for the floor. She hasn't been keeping her room clean.

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Today, we were in the basement working on cleaning/organizing. I was working in my craft area, and came across a pattern for curtains I'd purchased a number of years ago. I still have the original curtains in my bedroom, and they don't go with the decor at all. Off and on I've been looking for new ones, but haven't been able to find the simple curtains I want in there. Looking at the pattern, I decided I was going to make curtains today. I went and got one of my pillow shams and dragged Daughter along to the fabric store. As we were headed to the second store, Daughter informed me that it wasn't fair that I'm getting curtains and she's not. I reminded her of the deal. "Has your bedroom been clean for 2 months? Has mine?" She acknowledged that she hasn't kept hers clean, and mine has been clean for more than 2 months. I reminded her that when she kept her room clean for 2 months, I'd be glad to get her new curtains. In the second store, I found exactly what I was looking for. I came home and began sewing. On the hem of the second panel, my sewing machine died. I still have 2 more panels, 2 valances, and 4 tie backs to make. I will try to resurrect the machine tomorrow, but it is probably 25 years old, and I may have to replace it.

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Daughter has been in a foul mood all day. She took off for a while this evening, and when she came back in she announced she'd never forgive me for what I'd done to her. I asked what I'd done. "Call the cops on me."

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"I didn't call the police, because I knew you'd be back."

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Yesterday I made the enchiladas she wanted me to make. Today she was raging as I was making the steak fajitas she'd requested. She's mad at me for things I haven't done, and is not at all rational right now. I asked her what she wanted me to do. "Get me counseling!" I reminded her that I had requested a referral from her case manager.

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I know that none of her anger is about anything I have or haven't done. However, it's not fair that I am her target. Tonight, I am exhausted.