Wednesday, December 23, 2009

To Date or Not to Date

Daughter wants to go see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, which she says is opening today. I'm not up on those things, so I didn't even know there was a new one coming. I told her that I wouldn't have time to take her before Christmas. Nice Guy heard her talking about it, and suggested they go out to lunch and then go see the movie today. He lives on the other side of the county, and I suggested that I would take her to meet him at a restaurant in Town. I could handle her insulin and then disappear, allowing them to enjoy their date. He could bring her home after the movie. I figured this would save him making two long trips to Tiny Village and it would be an easy way for me to handle the insulin challenge.
Now Daughter is having doubts. She's not sure she'd feel safe alone at the movie theater with NG and no parent present. She can't tell me what she's afraid of. I reminded her that she'd have her cell phone and could reach me if there was a problem. I pointed out there would be other people in the theater. I told her if she was really too uncomfortable with it she could tell NG I was a mean mom who wouldn't let her go. She hasn't made a decision yet. I have mixed feelings. I feel bad for NG. I don't want to push Daughter beyond her comfort zone, but I also don't want fear to rule her life. It will be interesting to see what she decides. On a purely selfish level, having her occupied for several hours today would give me time to get some work done without her needs distracting me.
There's going to be lots of together time between now and January 4 when she goes back to the sheltered workshop. I'm going to encourage all the apart time I can, especially while I'm still trying to finalize sermon and worship plans. On a more positive note, she called me sounding depressed once yesterday. I was able to distract her and get her focusing on other things, and she made it through the day. We've spent the last two nights watching Harry Potter 1 and 2 with her snuggled in next to me. I think that intense "mommy time" has helped with her anxiety.


Miz Kizzle said...

My guess is she's afraid NG will put the moves on her in the dark movie theater. She seems to like the idea of having a boyfriend but physical intimacy with a guy frightens her, no?

Reverend Mom said...

That was my thought, too. We talked about it, and how much she is comfortable with, what has happened when she's gone to movies with guys before, and how she could handle things. I was surprised when she said that isn't her fear, her fear is that he will propose! I reminded her my rule is one year of dating before they talk about marriage. She said NG's mom likes that rule, and wants him to follow it. Now I have to head out the door with a very impatient Daughter, who has decided this might be fun, after all.