Friday, January 28, 2011

The Big Duh

I'm reading this book about Borderline Personality Disorder. While the information isn't necessarily new to me, the book has helped me identify what has been triggering Daughter and some of her behaviors. The big issue for BPD's is fear of abandonment. Since we moved her to Capital, I have been much busier with my ministry. I have to face the reality that I have been less available to Daughter, even when I am physically present with her I am not as emotionally available as I was in Tiny Village. This have been very good for my mental health, and very hard on Daughter. The acting out she has done in response has pushed me further away from her, setting off a downward spiral.

I'm going to work on making daily time to have positive, focused interaction with Daughter. Hopefully that will help calm her anxiety. I am also very much aware that I am much less stressed now that the board retreat is behind me. That was taking a great deal of time and energy. Hopefully having that behind me will make it easier to give Daughter the reassurance she needs so desperately.


maeve said...

This is a lot like the "Beyond Consequences" stuff that has worked so well with Kara. I'm so glad that I'm not you....I have enough trouble being me.

Reverend Mom said...

I'm glad you're not me, too, because most of the time I like being me. I have the Heather Forbes books someplace-- maybe I should pull them out when I finish with this one. Thanks for the reminder.