Thursday, January 6, 2011

What Goes Up....

Today Daughter came down, and landed hard. She was slow getting up this morning. In fact, she didn't get up until I asked her if I needed to start locking up the electronic devices. When she got out of the shower, she saw that it was almost 7:00, and she knows I like to be at the church at 7:00. She came out to the kitchen sobbing hysterically. Of course she was crying too hard to tell me what was wrong, but eventually managed to tell me that the voices wouldn't leave her alone.
I told her I was sorry the voices were bothering her, and urged her to hurry up. As we were leaving the house, I told her to leave the portable DVD player at home. Her case manager was here today, and is getting Daughter in with a therapist who does a great deal of work with individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder. We discussed the voices, and decided that Daughter was hearing her guilty conscience. We talked about her romantic struggles, and she acknowledged that 50% of it is her fault.
In response to Miz Kizzle's comment, here are some of the reasons why this is an excellent program for Daughter:
  1. The program coordinator is a therapist and daughter of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. She understands Daughter, and recognizes her manipulations.
  2. The staff has been well trained by the coordinator on how to manage Daughter. She is not able to manipulate them, and they don't react to her attempts to create drama.
  3. Here's how completely they get Daughter: At the Christmas party Daughter sent me a text asking me to come get her because she was overwhelmed by the noise and chaos. When I didn't take the bait, she tried it on the program coordinator. She refused to be hooked. Unable to find anyone to rescue her, Daughter began dancing. I received a picture message from the program coordinator telling me not to let Daughter tell me she wasn't having fun.
  4. When there was a party they knew would be too overwhelming for Daughter, they consulted with me and we came up with a plan to keep Daughter from attending.
  5. They minimize the drama by keeping Daughter away from her current romantic obsession as much as possible.
  6. They have yet to call me to ask me to come get Daughter-- they handle things on their own, including the day she wet herself-- they gave her dry clothes to put on and kept going.
  7. They are very low key about the insulin and diabetes. They haven't required doctor's orders, and are quite content to let me direct the care of her diabetes. I forgot to put the carb and insulin information in with her lunch today, so Daughter and one of the staff people cheerfully appeared in my office to ask for the information.
  8. The system here looks at the complete individual: Program staff attends appointments with the psychiatrist, and the therapist will be through the same agency. The coordination is wonderful.
  9. They recognize and affirm Daughter's abilities. They encourage her to use the sign language she has learned with the deaf woman in the group. She is helping plan the menu for the party they are planning when their new building is finally ready. They encourage her to bring ideas, and take them seriously. They praise her contributions.

This has been a very good move for both of us.


maeve said...

Wow! These people really get it don't they. My Molly needed this place early on ... it might have made her life better. Even Miss K. could use some of this kind of stuff. Her high school is pretty good at figuring out drama...I call it the "adopted kids' school for a good reason.

And mom has got it too. Must be tough for her...everyone has her number. And the number is not ten.

Miz Kizzle said...

The program staff sound wonderful. You must be so pleased and relieved.
From reading your blog for awhile it seems like your DD has a pretty consistent bag of tricks that include sneak eating sugary treats to make her glucose level go all wonky, threats of suicidal feelings, declarations of hearing voices telling her to do bad stuff and accusations of sexual harassment, to name a few.
These are usually thought to be bids for attention but she gets LOADS of attention already. I don't see how you could possibly give her any more and still hold down a job and maintain a home.
I'm amazed at how clever she is at manipulation for someone who's intellectually challenged.

Reverend Mom said...

Yes, Maeve, they get it, and I'm grateful. I expressed my confusion as to why she keeps making poor choices when they make her miserable and being responsible makes her happy. She had no explanation.

Miz Kizzle,
I am grateful for the program staff. She is the highest functioning individual in the group, which probably isn't best for her, but the staff is perfect and that makes up for it. I suspect her IQ is higher than has been measured. I'm grateful she tested low, because that is what qualifies her for services. I often wonder what could have been if she'd been with me from the beginning.... Occasionally she comes up with a new one, but for the most part, she sticks with the tried and true manipulations....