This week enough has happened that I'm feeling pretty discouraged. It started Friday, when I made two trips to the hospital for surgery that didn't happen, and ended up cancelling my trip for the bridal shower for my future sister-in-law. Saturday and Sunday Daughter started having lows again, and the boards put me on notice than in a year my position will be cut to part time, so I need to get looking.
Tuesday brought the suicide and a broken neck. Yesterday I took Daughter to a doctor's appointment over 100 miles from here, and drove back in the dark through the rain. This morning I opened up the paper and learned, as I had suspected, that I would have no part in the funeral of the woman who had committed suicide. If I'd known, I could have gone to visit my parents after the doctor's appointment yesterday.
Daughter last her spirit of cooperation last night, and went off on me. She's not going to let me get away with treating her the way I treat her, and she's going to move out now. She deserves better than me. Sister called this morning, and while I was talking to her, I heard Daughter slam out of the house without saying goodbye (the only conversation this morning was when she demanded I get her pills ready-- I pointed out that if she wanted to live alone she'd best learn to take care of her own pills.) Sister called Daughter and told her to go back into the house and give me a hug and a kiss. Daughter stormed in and informed me I was really in trouble now. She did give me a hug, but reiterated that she would not live with me anymore.
I've been working with her on independent living skills, but she still has a long ways to go. How can she live alone when I can't even leave her home alone for more than 20 minutes at a time? It doesn't help that it is a very gray day here. I'm going to mail sympathy cards to the family of the woman who committed suicide. I've given up on writing notes, because I don't know why they don't want me involved with the funeral. I thought I knew them pretty well, but now I'm not so sure. If I don't write anything, I won't say anything that offends them.
After I sleep well a couple of nights and wrestle with God a couple of mornings, I'll be fine. Right now, I'm having trouble figuring out what it is that God is trying to teach me through all of this.
I think I'll go visit the woman with the broken neck. It will get me focused on something else. After my trip to the hospital in the City, I need to go to Town and get a new prescription filled for Daughter. Hopefully she'll come home in a better mood.
5 comments:
Thinking about you. I hope tomorrow is a little less murky. I will be sending positive energy your way :)
Ministry,
I felt really sad about the woman taking her life. Sad, but I understood, poor thing.
I didnt even know how to write anything my feelings about it.
I bet you feel like telling dd ' great I could use the break' ( about moving out ).
I will pray you get some answers, or at least some peace this week. You deserve it.
Prayers and hugs ( owl )
Hugs.
Don't second guess yourself--perhaps the family couldn't handle a reminder of how much faith she did have until the end? I can't imagine the pain they are in.
Oh Wendy, you need a HUG.... Sorry about the woman who took her life, praying for her family.
Praying for you too, as you look for another church. Looks like God has sped up the process.
Praying for Dd too, that she will not feel so stressed and take it out on you.
Love, Carol
Thank you all for your support. I'm feeling better tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to make it a better one.
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