Cleaning

This evening Daughter and I tackled Dad's apartment. We changed the sheets on his bed (which I think were the same sheets we put on last time we were here), did 4 loads of laundry, scoured the bathroom, and are still working on the kitchen. There is a skillet that I have set to soak yet again. I'm not sure how he could have burned something that completely. The odor is almost gone, and hopefully the little fruit flies will vanish now that we've eliminated the dirty dishes. We are going to have to bring out industrial strength cleaner to get the kitchen floor clean.

I pretty much told him that he had to go to rehab, and that he's going to have to pay for additional help once he gets back to the apartment. I pointed out additional help is much cheaper than assisted living. He couldn't argue that. Today he was agreeable, but who knows what will happen when it comes time for discharge. His kidneys are doing better, but he needs to continue with a specialist when he's out of the hospital. His infected elbow is doing better, but still painful. He sat up in a chair for about 5 hours today, but still hasn't done any walking. I'm hoping they ordered a PT/OT evaluation. We asked for one, but his primary care physician wasn't in until this evening, and we'd all left by then.

I got Mom over to see him again. She wasn't as excited today. Now that the initial relief that he's not dead or dying is over, I think she's worried. She cried when I left her at the nursing home. Daughter is hanging in with me, though this is hard on her. Her blood sugars were high today, and she slept much of the afternoon. She worked like a trooper, though, when I said it was time to clean.

I called Dad's sister today. She didn't know about any of his hospitalizations this year. Brother was supposed to be keeping that side of the family informed, I was dealing with the other side. She was widowed this past year, and hasn't been up to keeping in touch any more than Dad has. She's five years older than he is, and there are just the two of them left. She's also buried her son, though she still has a daughter alive.

I guess that I am very much aware of aging right now. One generation is passing away, and mine is having to step up and take over. I'm feeling the burden tonight. I'm recognizing that I no longer have a parent to look to for support and guidance. I recognize that I'm now the care giver, and that I'm the one my Daughter, my siblings, and my parents are looking to for decisions. I know they all want me closer to them, so I can carry more of the load. I'm not sure I want to live closer. We have a sister who lives across the country from us. She doesn't get as involved in the day to day stuff. There are times I envy her. I suspect though, that whatever the distance is, this is going to continue to be a challenging time. I also know that it would be much harder on me if I couldn't be here and be involved. I hope I get a new position that will move me close enough to do more, but recognize that I will need to set clear boundaries. I can do more, but I can't do everything.