After the last round of team emails in which it was suggested that Daughter's phone needs to be taken away and she needs to be told to stop having boyfriends and to quit saying she feels threatened by boyfriends, I sent out an email acknowledging that she was difficult and explaining the source of some of her issues. She wants a normal life. She sees a boyfriend as the road to marriage and normalcy. She thinks she can handle it, and then her PTSD kicks in and she feels threatened, not because of what current boyfriend is doing but because she was forced to perform oral sex on family members when she was 2 years old. I acknowledged she is difficult. I continue to tell her that she is capable of speaking for herself and keeping herself safe, and she needs to continue to get that message. I wish the team, though, would understand the long lasting impact of her early trauma. I sent a link to an article about it. All conversation (at least conversation in which I am included) has stopped. Case Manager has told me she sees Daughter as a spoiled brat. I think they subscribe to the "love and stability cures everything" school of thought.
I know that I have gone the extra mile seeking the resources Daughter needs, educating myself, and doing everything I can to hold her accountable and encourage her to become responsible and independent. Maybe they think they could have done a better job. Maybe they think they can now succeed in rewiring her brain by telling her she can't sing in the choir. It's not going to work. Of course, that's probably my fault, too, since I refused to take her out of choir at the church because she got into food at the house. In no way is that a logical consequence, and it certainly will not help her learn cause and effect thinking.
That's the end of today's rant.