Thursday, September 17, 2009

On a More Positive Note

At least Sister has decided she'd best get a little more on top of Dad's needs. It's been taking her a week or two to address concerns/needs. This morning she called the assisted living facility about increasing the help he receives. We were pleasantly surprised. Of course, Far Away Sister laid out all the things that hospice would have done that weren't now covered, like monitoring the care he was receiving. I think she decided she'd best see that Dad is getting better care.
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We are going to get Dad a living will so he doesn't end up on a ventilator. We are considering writing a letter to the doctor stating our understanding that he has promised to provide everything hospice would give Dad and laying out what we think hospice would give Dad. We suspect that such a letter would result in him quickly referring Dad to hospice, especially if it were written by Dad's attorney. If we're lucky, Dad will go peacefully before we have time to do any of this. Our big concern is that he not end up on a ventilator, as he has been very clear that he doesn't want that.
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Okay, this next part isn't so positive. Daughter is having "symptoms" today. I have informed her that she is fine and can remain at the workshop. She thinks I'm terrible, of course. Maybe I am. After all, if both Sister and Daughter think I'm so terrible, maybe they know something I don't know....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Based on where you live... you can download a free advanced directives form... complete it... and give it to the doctor... the hospital... and the care facility. They have to follow it in our state. You can also download state approved health care power of attorney forms. Get both signed by someone else... non-family... and notarized.

Your dad's doctor sounds like one we had before my daddy died. He wanted us to keep him on dialysis... at $900 a pop... even though we had already moved him to palliative care.

We didn't use hospice... because daddy was in a care facility... but that facility basically used hospice care techniques.

I'm sorry all of this stuff is going on in your life... and I hope that you are finding some time for yourself.

Reverend Mom said...

Beach Walkin,

Thanks. A friend who lives near him has offered me the forms.

The problem is that the 2 siblings that live near Dad have a very poor record when it comes to getting things signed and returned. Sister still hasn't returned paperwork from June....

The facility Dad is in offers hospice care, if we could get the doctor to sign the paperwork. Time for myself is hard, but I'm hanging in here. We'll make it through this.

I hope you are able to heal during this "sabbatical" time. I had a 7 month period between calls, and it was a wonderfully healing time-- once I got Daughter on anti-psychotics, but that's a whole different story....