Thursday, May 14, 2009

Finding Answers

Daughter has had a rough few days. Tuesday she called me in hysterics from the workshop, insisting I come and pick her up immediately. She claimed she was being harassed again. I had her take some deep breaths, wash her face, and told her to listen to the Christian music on her ipod on the bus ride home.
When she got home and told me the story, I told her it wasn't harassment, but teasing, and she needed to develop a thicker skin. She had another play date after supper. I was on the phone, so wasn't out there to referee. They hadn't been here long before she burst into the house screaming and insisted I send the boys home immediately. They were getting on her nerves. She then took off, saying she was going for a walk, but was back in the house almost immediately. I told her she needed to go for a walk to work out some of her adrenaline.
I asked her if her period had started, and she said, "No, but it must be due, because I'm so emotional." Wednesday night she was irritable again. I don't even remember what the issues were. I decided that maybe it was because it was the night we change the catapres patch she wears, which is supposed to slow the adrenaline from her PTSD.
Today she's still irritable, and she seems to be hearing voices again. Now I suspect she is manic again. I have an order for another Depakote level for her, but of course I can't find it right now.... If I don't find it this evening I'll call and ask them to fax one directly to the lab, and we'll get it drawn on Saturday morning.
Even with all of this, she's still much better than she has been some years in May. This is often the time of year I'm wondering how much longer I'll be able to manage her at home. This year, I'm just seeking to find the answers that will help her maintain a more even keel. I am confident that someday we will find the proper mix of medication, and Daughter will learn how to cope with her remaining symptoms.


Miz Kizzle said...

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through a rough patch. I've often heard about people who hear voices. What do your daughter's voices say?

Reverend Mom said...

The voices change, and we think that some aren't true voices, but her way of expressing what's going on in her head. Sometimes she says there are so many talking so loud that she can separate out what individual ones are saying.
Sometimes she hears "the devil and the witch's laugh." Those are disturbing because the devil is usually telling her to kill somebody. Sometimes she thinks she hears me calling her when I'm not. That is probably the most frequent. She has learned that saying she's hearing voices gets immediate attention, so she's been known to use this manipulative. It adds to the challenge, to say the least....