Thursday, April 2, 2009

Difficult Decisions

What Mom and Dad can afford short term will deplete all their resources long term. So, we find ourselves facing some difficult decisions. Currently, we are paying for assisted living for Mom, a live-in aide for Dad, and additional money for Dad's live-in to go see to Mom's needs twice a day. (Mom's care now is beyond what the memory care unit can provide.)
We had hoped Dad would be able to manage without the live-in, but this latest round of congestive heart failure has us concerned about whether that is realistic. We could bring Mom back to the apartment with a live-in for both of them, but don't know if the complex would allow that. There are also space issues, Dad lives in a one bedroom apartment, and they both have wheel chairs. Though Dad gets around with a walker in the apartment, Mom can't walk at this point. We could move them both to a nursing home (Dad can't move in with Mom because he's on insulin, so they won't take him).
There are no easy answers. There is no predicting how long either of them will live. Both have been near death and then recovered beyond our expectations. Mom is now eating some solid food, and after the swallow evaluation they didn't even want her eating pureed foods. Aide said that she seemed to like the solid food this morning.
We thought when we moved them into this senior complex with the independent living apartments and assisted living units that their needs would be covered, and they were for over 3 years. But now their needs have changed, and once again we find ourselves facing difficult decisions.

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