Torn

Tonight was the Big Event. Daughter served drinks at the supper while I visited with our guests, and then we moved upstairs for the Big Event. We sat in the front pew, as I had three responsibilities sprinkled throughout the event. During the prelude she told me she felt like her blood sugar was low. I suppose I should offer an explanation. We treat her lows when they drop below 70. Generally she takes 3-4 glucose tabs, and then follows up with a package of cheese crackers. Her blood sugar was 67. Wanting to be cautious, I had her take 5 glucose tabs. She was obviously not feeling well. We’re in the front pew in front of all the microphones for the CD they’re making of the event, so I’m trying to quietly whisper directions to her. I waited a while and had her recheck. She had dropped to 60. I gave her more glucose tabs. She came up to 64. I fed her crackers. She’s not looking any better. She’s begging to go home. I still have two more responsibilities, and a young man I recommended will be singing several songs later in the program.

We can’t leave without being very conspicuous. She can’t be left alone when her blood sugar is unstable. I finally lead her into the office. A couple of the saints follow me, figuring she’s having a low. Her blood sugar goes up to 159 briefly, and then begins to drop again. By this time she’d had about 12 glucose tabs and 2 packages of crackers. She caught the low before it was that bad, and she’s eaten enough to cover several lows.

I need to be at the church for the big event, but my Daughter needs to go home. A friend offers to take care of her, but I know I’m not going to be comfortable without her right beside me. I’m torn. What is my responsibility to Daughter? What is my responsibility to the church on the biggest night of the year? It soon becomes obvious that we’re in for a long night on the blood sugar roller coaster.

A friend and colleague of mine (who happens to be the father of the soloist) is sitting near the front, so I recruit him to handle the two prayers I have left to do. Daughter wants to go home. I want to hear the soloist. I walked around the outside of the building and stood in the back to hear the soloist. Then I brought Daughter home. I was still torn. I had her drink some milk, and wandered back over to stand outside the church and listen to the finale. She follows me. She leans against me, shaking. We come home, and her blood sugar has dropped to 46. How can her blood sugar be that low after all the things I’ve made her eat? I’ve lost track of the number of things I’ve fed her trying to get her blood sugar to come up. She’s tired of eating, tired of not feeling well, and scared. I have a headache.

I foresee a long night. She’s planning to sleep in the recliner in my room tonight. I’ll get up and check her a few times to make sure her blood sugar doesn’t bottom out again. What caused the lows? I’ve no idea. I read some place that there are 100’s of things that impact our blood sugars, and we have control of 3 of them: diet, exercise, and insulin. The exercise and adrenaline rush of the softball tournament yesterday may have caught up with her. It may be the phase of the moon. We’ll probably never know. At this point my hope is that this is a fluke, and not the beginning of a series of lows and the need to reduce insulin. I hope I’m able to get some sleep tonight.