Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Return to Normal

Daughter’s blood sugar was sky high yesterday morning, but since she was into ice cream during the night that’s not surprising. She has a diet root beer float with a cup of vanilla ice cream in it for a bedtime snack, so it’s not like she’s deprived. She was very chipper when she headed off to the workshop. Her day went well, with normal blood sugars the rest of the day. When she got home, I was working with a young woman on planning children’s ministry, so after greeting me and giving me the newspaper and the mail (and showing me the get well flowers they gave her at the workshop), she got busy with housework. I was impressed.

DebinCal wondered in a comment if Daughter’s psychotic episode was set off by the knowledge that she would soon have passed the one year mark of being voice free that Psychiatrist set as criteria for additional contact with birth family. Yesterday evening I found myself pondering whether this might be the case, on an unconscious level. Daughter pointed out that it’s August now, and asked when she could make contact with her birth mother. I pointed out that Psychiatrist said she had to go a year without hearing any voices before we talked about it. “Yes, and it’s August, so when can I communicate with her?”

“You just heard voices again, so you have to wait another year.”

Of course she told me how unfair that was and pointed out that she’s 21 and should be able to make her own decisions about contact. I told her she’d have to take that up with Psychiatrist. She stormed off to the back porch, and then came back and apologized for her attitude. I had to stop and think what she was apologizing for—I’ve become a master at tuning out any rant that takes place while she’s walking away from me.

I wonder if on some unconscious level she knew she wasn’t ready for additional contact with birth family and the voices served to protect her from it. The fact that she raised it on her second day home from the hospital tells me that it has been weighing on her. I was kind of surprised that she hadn’t made the connection that the renewed voices meant the year was starting over again. Of course, that just shows again her problem with cause and effect.

By yesterday evening she was complaining that her whole abdomen was hurting. I suspect that was the result of spending much of the day in the bathroom. At least she’s no longer constipated!
I talked to Dad last night. He has now lost 56 pounds of fluid. He's feeling much better, though he is spending lots of time in the bathroom. All in all, I think things are returning to whatever passes as normal around here. I’m relieved, and so is my neck.


debinca said...

Hi Wendy,

Gosh it sure looks like she was aware of the 'year end' , whether the hospitalization was planned or not ( I doubt it) or a defense mechanism we'll never know and it does not really matter. What matters is that you have found a possible trigger and can be aware for next year.

I am still wondering if the psyc said "sorry Lena you may never have contact with your birth family, its not healthy for you and the thought of it is causing you to be in the hospital" I am wondering what the results would be, would the nonsense of neglecting her health stop? Or lessen?

On a subconsious level is she thinking " oh I am way too sick to contact birth family.......... see ( insert your own trauma here). Therefore I cannot possibly handle contact.......... and THEY wont let me make contact. They being of course you and the drs, letting her off the hook.

probably after she did some whining, complaining and blaming to ease her conscious she would go along and never mention it again ,(well at least for a year).

So glad things are going better, whatever normal is! LOl

Cheers, Owl

TobyBo said...

I'm glad things are improving. :)

Reverend Mom said...

You certainly are wise-- I'm definitely going to talk to Psychiatrist about this whole issue.


Thanks. I'm glad, too.