Breaking Up

The romance has ended. For over 3 weeks I’ve know it was over, but have been waiting for Daughter to figure it out on her own. I knew she would, given time. I also knew that introducing reality before she was ready to face it would not be helpful. (Occasionally I demonstrate great wisdom.) I was uncomfortable with the situation from the start. He is 34 or 35 (she’s 21). She is very young when it comes to relationships. I knew that eventually that age difference would be too much.

He has been “too busy” to plan anything with her for about 3 weeks. He didn’t call her cell while she was in the hospital, and neither did Best Friend. I was pretty sure they had something going. Best Friend will willingly open her legs to any guy who comes along, and for Daughter, kissing is a big deal.

One of the challenges Daughter faces is that in our rural county she doesn’t have many peers. That makes it very hard to find suitable friends, or the male or the female. Again this weekend Boyfriend used the excuse of his sick father as a reason he couldn’t schedule anything with Daughter. He told her she could call him, though. So yesterday she called his cell. No answer. She called Best Friend’s cell. No answer. She figured it out.

When she first told me about it, I offered to explain my theory to her. She didn’t want to hear it. Later she came down and asked to hear it. I told her that I thought the age difference had been too much for Boyfriend. She revealed that he has been divorced twice. She hadn’t told me, because she knew I wouldn’t approve. I think she knew this was coming.

Today we’re supposed to go help a friend pack for the moving van, which is coming Monday. Daughter got up and wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. I don’t think she knew how to feel—relieved that things are out in the open; or sad because it’s over. Daughter likes country music, so I suggested that the situation had the makings of a great country song. Dumped by Boyfriend and betrayed by Best Friend. She liked the sound of that. She finally decided we should go help our friend pack.

She’s upstairs running the vacuum. I’m going to get dressed, and we’re headed out the door. I think our time with our friend will be a good distraction for her. She’s going to be fine. I’m relieved that it’s over. My prediction: neither Boyfriend or Best Friend will return her calls this weekend. Monday at the workshop they will have a conversation, and will all come out of this as friends, opening Daughter up to more hurt. I don't think she'll truly trust them again, though, so that's an improvement.