Doctor's Appointment

Saw the orthopedic doctor this morning.  He's impressed with the motion I've managed to get back in my wrist.  Said I can dump the sling and bandages anytime I'm ready.  I can get the arm wet Sunday.  Stitches will dissolve.  Can't pick up anything heavy. 

Appetite is back, still working on getting strength back. 

The Story Part 4

I returned home to a clean house.  It was wonderful.  I've had visitors and helpers, and one woman stayed with me the first night.  I am working on regaining movement in my left hand.  It is still very swollen.  I was supposed to be in Nashville this week, and so I already had a sub lined up for this Sunday.

Little things are challenges.  I never realized how dependent I am on my left hand.  Daughter has had her moments and was quite dramatic Sunday at church.  She got lots of hugs and attention.  Overall, she has done well.

My appetite is slowly returning.  I tire very easily, and am taking naps.  Tomorrow I see the surgeon.  I think I will need to ease back into things.  The program year was winding down, so that shouldn't be a problem. 

I am very aware of how blessed I am. 

The Story: Part 3

Around 8 Sunday morning I was headed to surgery.  One of the saints from the previous evening reappeared to offer a hug and a prayer.  After 2.5 hours of surgery, I had 2 incisions in addition to the large laceration, and 2 plates held in place by 12 screws.  I don't remember much about Sunday.  Sister and Short Niece arrived, and Saint left.  One of my travelling companions for my now cancelled trip to the festival of homiletics appeared with flowers and a prayer blanket.  They left and Saint reappeared with Daughter and my breathing machine for my sleep apnea.  They kept offering me apple juice, but all I wanted was ice water.  That evening an attempt to get up for the bathroom or commode failed-- I was too dizzy when I sat up.

Monday was better.  I managed the bedside commode and then walked to the bathroom.  I ate a banana and some grapes, then another banana with some peanut butter.  I sat in a chair for 30 minutes before falling back in bed, exhausted.  I conducted "final exams."  A number of the people I trained in lay pastoral care giving stopped by to visit.  I was impressed.  They had learned things and were wonderful.  I told them they passed.  I heard that they had discussed the possibility of showing up all at once and doing all the things I told them not to do.  One informed me that they had believed me when I said I was a klutz, I didn't have to prove it.  I also heard that people were lined up to bring food when I got home.  I heard that people were mad because I didn't ask for help with the 40 bags of mulch I bought on Saturday.

Short Niece demanded to talk to me on the phone.  She had to hear if my voice sounded okay now.  Saint came back with Daughter.  A colleague stopped by with his wife.  I slept a lot.  I got IV antibiotics every 12 hours.  Back at my home, a team invaded.  The yard was mowed.  All the mulch was spread.  My garage was cleaned and organized (all tripping hazards disappeared).  My house was cleaned. 

The Story 2

I landed in my driveway.  I tried to stand up, but when I lifted my arm it bent the wrong way, so I knew it was broken.  I tried to find people in my cell phone, but couldn't get it to work right.  The neighbor kids were outside, so I asked them to go get their parents.  Their mom supported my head, they called 911, and their dad called 2 couples in the church, who headed over here immediately. 

The paramedics arrived and cut open my sleeve.  When they saw my arm, they told me not to look.  They convinced me I needed to go directly to the trauma center.  My friends grabbed the things I needed and started making phone calls.  By the time I got to the hospital, they had lined up someone to preach on Sunday.  They kept Sister informed. 

I spent 4 hours in the ER, with my friends beside me.  I was freaking them out, apparently.  My oxygen levels dropped, setting off alarms, every time I dozed off.  They finally started me on oxygen.  The surgeon decided to hold off on the surgery until Sunday morning, and with my entourage in tow, I reached my room about 1:00 a.m.

The Story

Saturday I was doing outside work.  I bought 40 bags of mulch and unloaded them into the garage.  I did a bunch of weeding.  I was interrupted by rain, and finally decided I would call it a day.  I headed out of the garage to grab a tool and put it away.  I got my feet tangled in some wire, and couldn't catch my balance.  I broke my fall with my left hand, breaking both bones in my wrist. 

I'm now home, but exhausted.  I will tell the story, but not all at once.  I don't have the energy right now.

hospital

I fell Saturday evening and broke my arm.  I'm recovering from sugery.  It was an open fracture  so I'm getting Iv antibiotics. Details when I get home-- probably tomorrow

Current: Independence Means Bigger Worries

Daughter called me this afternoon.  She asked me not to be mad at her, and told me she had something to tell me.  She tracked down her birth mother and called her.  She also called her oldest birth brother, who abused and molested her.  The last time she had contact with birth mother she ended up having 3 psychiatric hospitalizations.  The phone call was so hard on her that I decided that for her protection she shouldn't have any further contact with her birth mother. 

She assured me that it didn't bother her this time.  I hope she's right.  At least none of the birth family is in this area.  That's comforting.  I'm uncomfortable about the fact that I will be several states away at a conference for the next week.  She knows that.  She knows I won't be available for her.  I think she's got a good support system here.  I hope she doesn't need to test it. 

It also shows me her growing independence.  I am in control of less her of her life with each passing day.  I think that is a good thing.  It is also a very scary thing.  Very scary. 

Frustrations and Joys

Right now I'm very frustrated.  My mail order pharmacy was involved in a merger last year.  I was a little concerned because the pharmacy they were merging with had been a pain to deal with for my parents.  I saw my doctor last week, and she faxed in some refills for me.  It is taking them a week to process those refills.  This is much longer than I've ever had to deal with in the past, and unfortunately, that means I will be heading off to a conference without some of the medications I need.  Part of it is my fault.  I trusted that it would work the way it always has, and so it wasn't until this morning I went to the website to check the status.  The website is now less user friendly.   When I went to check on the status, it showed that several prescriptions weren't eligible for refill until the second week in July, even though they had last been filled in January.  I called.  It turns out that they are in limbo-- they've got them in process, so I can't order refills, but they haven't been completed, so it doesn't show the current order or a ship date.  I haven't looked to see what I'll be doing without.  I don't want to know.  Hopefully they will be here when I return from my conference.  Hopefully.  I should have been less trusting, especially knowing that the merger had taken place. 

Now for some joy.  Yesterday evening was our second monthly Friday night program designed to give parents a break and children some Christian programming.  We had more children participating, more volunteers helping, and it went extremely well.  Daughter signed up to help as soon as the sign-up sheet went out-- without checking with me, of course.  I hear she was very helpful.  I greet parents at check-in and check-out, and then was the story teller.  I really enjoyed it.  The kids were having fun, adults were having meaningful conversations, and it was fun.  We have a young woman who has been doing all the planning pretty much solo-- I have been urging her to build a team and delegate, but she has been slow to follow my advice.  I pushed a little harder, and yesterday evening she asked the adults for suggestions for next time and how it can be improved.  They provided some wonderful ideas.

We are going to do one more in June, and then will restart again in September.  It was great to see the parents coming in dressed for a date, and to see them return relaxed and smiling after an evening without the children.  I am so pleased we can offer this ministry to our community. 

Our community garden beds are all taken for this year.  This is the second year, and word of mouth got the 18 beds reserved very quickly.  I suspect we will be talking about adding some more for next year.

Monday morning I will be heading to Nashville for the Festival of Homiletics.  I'm looking forward to an opportunity to hear good preaching and learn more about how to proclaim the Word.  I'm going to make our reservations for camping, too.  It sounds like some folks from the church might join us at the state park for a weekend.  I think that's good news-- fortunately, these are people who I like and with whom I can relax.  I've never had members who wanted to follow me on vacation before-- fortunately, they are healthy ones who don't expect me to take care of them....

Current: 30 Day Review

This morning was the meeting to review Daughter's placement in the current house and her corresponding change in program.  The program changes were great, and Daughter is now doing cleaning, which means more money. 

The house issues are being addressed.  Perhaps most importantly, she now knows that Home Owner, Case Manager, and I will talk, and we will be on the same page.  She has been caught, and she knows it. 

Perhaps most interesting is that she is doing the same things at this house that she did when she was living with me.  It means they are doing a good job in that she feels like it is home.  It means that she is being very challenging to live with.  Overall, things are improving, so that is good. 

She came into the meeting with an attitude, and I informed her if she kept the attitude it would wear me out and I would be too tired to pick her up for the children's program at the church tonight.  She heard me, and managed to turn it around.  I am very pleased with the way it went.  I am glad that I no longer have to deal with the challenges that came when she was living with me.  Very glad. 

Current: Lies

I am being told Daughter is refusing to eat all vegetables at the house.  When I ask her, she insists she is eating them.  I asked her again this morning on the way to the church.  She insisted she is eating them now, and described mixing her peas in with her spaghetti.  Except Case Manager was talking to Home Owner who said she continues to refuse them all. 

I confronted Daughter, which resulted in tears and yelling and drama and....  She finally calmed down, apologized, and asked to talk.  I have asked the home to make her servings smaller and allow her to add salt, pepper, salad dressing, or whatever will make them easier for her to eat.  I also told her she needs to apologize to the staff.  I hope she will follow through and do that.  We'll see. 

Current: Summer

Daughter has begun her annual campaign, trying to convince me to let her go back to Tiny Village to visit.  She insists she can go on her own, and doesn't need me.  I told her to start saving money.  Apparently she's going to be given an opportunity to do some work at her program that will allow her to earn additional money.  I'm glad she's getting the opportunity, though it does have the potential to complicate things.  I've always been able to tell her she had to save a certain amount of money to do something, confident that she wouldn't be able to hold onto it that long.  I'll be in trouble if she actually learns to start saving money....

Current: Emails Flying

The emails were flying today, and the dietitian visited the home to go over the diet again.  I think we are making progress.  The Home Owner even responded.  We have a meeting Friday to evaluate how she's doing since the move and the changes in her program.  Case Manager sent out a reminder today, and told us to prepare to be there for over an hour. 

I'm feeling a little more comfortable about being gone for a conference next week.  Administrative Assistant will be my back up.  She knows how to handle Daughter, and Daughter trusts her. 

Current: Mama Bear Growls

Daughter was upset last night, because the Home Owner was concerned that she was using too many blood sugar test strips.   HO decided to limit the number of test strips she could have.  I never did get a response regarding the lunch issues, but assumed (hoped) that they now understood Daughter had to have protein in her lunch. 

So today Daughter began the day with 5 test strips, the exact number she needs to make it through a day.  When she checked her blood sugar at 2:45, it was 66, which is low.  If her blood sugar is below 100 she gets a snack before getting on the bus to go home.  With a blood sugar of 66, they needed to give her glucose tabs to bring her blood sugar up before she can have a snack.  They need to retest her blood sugar after treating to make sure it is coming up before she gets a snack. 

So Daughter called me, concerned, because she is afraid to recheck her blood sugar to make sure it's coming up because she doesn't want to get in trouble.  I tell her it's okay, she has to check, and if anyone complains, they should call me.  A few minutes later I get a call from a staff member at the workshop.  They have rechecked, and her blood sugar has dropped to 60.  They only have one test strip left, and are very concerned.  I ask how many glucose tabs Daughter has had, and they've given her one after each blood sugar check.  I explain that she should have 3-4 glucose tabs when her blood sugar drops to bring it up, and instruct her to give her another 3.  The staff member wonders if they can use someone else's test strips in Daughter's meter if they are a different brand.  No. 

I ask what Daughter had for lunch.  She says she had protein with her sandwich-- a "thin" slice of meat and a "thin" slice of cheese.  She also had sliced orange.  I suspect she may have been low on both carbs and protein, but for now the issue is getting her blood sugar up before she has to get on the bus.  She rechecks, and her blood sugar is up to 112.  I instruct them to give  her some trail mix and send her home.  I also state that we need to look at the orders for treating low blood sugars, because she should be getting 3-4 glucose tabs, not 1. 

Daughter calls from the bus, worried about getting into trouble at home.  I assure her she did what needed to be done. 

She calls from home, sobbing.  The only thing staff is concerned about is that she used up all her test strips.  A low blood sugar wipes her out, emotionally and physically.  She wants to move.  She doesn't feel safe there.  They won't listen to her.  I'm frustrated on a number of levels:

1. The staff at her program hasn't had adequate training.  The nurse scheduled and conducted the training without consulting with me or the dietitian.  Daughter is suffering as a result.
2. It sounds to me like we still have issues with her lunch. 
3. The nurse cut me out of the training, and as a result we have a staff that isn't adequately equipped to handle Daughter's diabetes.
4. The staff at her home seems to be more concerned about counting test strips than helping Daughter feel safe and secure.
5. When she got home after a low blood sugar, she needed hugs and reassurance, not scolding and blaming. 

Yes, I've sent off a couple of emails.  I'm scheduled to be out of town all next week, and at this point I'm very uneasy about leaving.  I desperately need the break, and I'm very concerned about the way the new house is handling Daughter's emotional and health needs. 

Predictable

Apparently, I have become too predictable.  Yesterday one of the men went into the cold pond and tried to clear the drain.  Another man took a picture of him and posted it to facebook.  I was surprised, because there weren't many comments.  Then I realized the gentleman who had posted it only had 21 friends, so I shared the picture on my page, where there was much more action. 

This morning there was quite a bit of conversation about the adventure in the pond.  The original poster said, "I knew if I posted it to my page, you'd share it to yours and lots of people would see it."  I think I have become a bit too predictable....

Current: Busy Day at the Church

Today was spring clean up day and we also had a sewing bee to make little dresses for Africa.  We had lots of people there working.  We spent much longer than we intended working on the dresses, but once we got all set up, we didn't want to leave.  When I got home, I realized I'd missed the entertainment outside.  One of the men had gone out in the pond to clear the drain.  Last week it was snowing, and we've had a couple of warmer days since, but the air temperature was only in the low 70's, and I'm sure the pond was cold.  A picture was posted on facebook.  I hope he was successful in getting the drain unplugged, but he sure looked miserable. 

Daughter has a friend moving into her house today, so I'm going to pick her up for church in the morning.  It's kind of nice to have a quiet Saturday evening at home.  I think I'll be going to bed early this evening....

Memories: The Road to Adoption

Once Daughter was free and available for adoption, I began to move forward with the paperwork.  Daughter had been with me almost 5 years.  I knew she had many challenges, and that life with her would not be easy.  She had suffered greatly at the hands of her birth family, and the scars remained.

Her Case Worker came with a colleague to do a pre-adoption visit.  Among the papers they had me sign was one stating that I understood that Daughter had suffered abuse which might lead to her developing serious problems, and I would not attempt to return her or sue the county should that happen.  I signed it, and both case workers witnessed my signature. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't good enough for the county attorney.  She demanded that I drive an hour to the county offices so I could sign the form in front of various higher ups and she could witness it.  I knew that who witnessed it made no difference as to whether it would hold up in court.  I was not happy about driving an hour (each way) to sign it again.  I was even less happy when I got there and discovered the attorney had forgotten about it and wasn't there.  I had to wait another hour for her to show up.  Case Worker was apologetic.  She thought it was ridiculous. 

Daughter was going through a rough patch, so my life was pretty stressful.  When I got in before all the various officials to sign the form again, Attorney cheerfully asked how Daughter was.  I said, "Disturbed.  You have taken over 3 hours out of my week that I didn't have to sign a form that I have already signed.  It doesn't make any difference who has witnessed the signatures.  Because I've had to take 3 hours to come sign this form, I will have to work longer.  You have taken away 3 hours I could have spent with Daughter, hours that would be much better spent with her."  Smiles froze on faces.  The tension was thick.  I quickly signed the form again and they witnessed it. 

Caseworker called me later to gleefully report, that the director had commented when I left the room that at least they knew Daughter would have a very strong advocate for her needs.

Current: A Day Off

Today  was my day off.  I hosted supper for two young colleagues and then we went to see a musical at a local high school.  It was very well done. 

Of course, to be ready for supper I had to do lots of cleaning.  I also mowed the front lawn.  I tried to new recipes, which were both good. 

Case Manager asked dietitian to take care of the lunch menu problem.  Dietitian said she would.  I haven't heard anything from Home Owner yet. 

All in all, it was a very good day.  The two young women I had over for supper are going with me to the Festival of Homiletics in just over a week.  I was meeting one of them for the first time.  I'm looking forward to the trip even more now.  I know I'll enjoy the conversations with them.

Daughter has called a couple of times, but seems to have had a good day.  A friend from the old house is moving into the new house tomorrow, so Daughter isn't coming here tomorrow.  I will pick her up Sunday morning for worship, and when I get done with my meetings, I'll bring her back here to relax her hair before taking her home.  She has a dance she is excited about on May 11th. 

Current: Challenge at the New House

Daughter called this evening, quite distressed.  Her lunch for tomorrow was going to be two slices of bread and an apple.  She said that was all the dietitian allowed her for lunch, and asked me to talk to the dietitian and straighten things out.  I was skeptical, but staff confirmed that the lunch menu did not include any protein.  I said she had to have protein, and they said they weren't allowed, I'd have to talk to their boss. 

Daughter had wanted to buy lunch at Subway tomorrow, and I had discouraged it.  After the conversation, I told her to buy lunch tomorrow.  I also emailed the home owner and copied Case Manager.  I realize that no place is going to be perfect, but I find it amazing that staff wouldn't realize that two slices of bread and an apple are not an appropriate lunch.  I'm very grateful that Daughter has enough understanding about her diabetes to recognize that the lunch was wrong....

Current: Back Online

The service tech showed up today and got me back online.  I'm grateful.  He wasn't within the time window they gave me, but that's okay.  I live close enough to the church that I just tell service people to call me when they are on their way and I will meet them at the house. 

Daughter was at the church today.  She did some shredding and also cleaned out my car (without being asked!)  I took her to supper, and now we're back at the church for choir.  She actually listened when I counseled her not to get involved in the drama that took place at the workshop today. 

I am tired.  I haven't been sleeping well. I know that I need a break, and one more week and I'll get one.  I'm looking forward to going to the Festival of Homiletics in Nashville on the 13th. 

For now, though, I have some work I need to get done. 

Current: Duh

Sunday night I lost TV, internet, and my home phone.  Monday night I went online on my smart phone and did the trouble shooting.  When the trouble shooting didn't work, they directed me to a chat page which wouldn't load on my phone. 

Yesterday I called customer service from the church. 

"What is the number on your account?"

I dutifully recite my phone number.

"What is your problem?"

I explain that I don't have phone, TV, or internet.

"Is the number on your account a good number to use to call you back?"

"No, as I just told you, my phone isn't working." 

"Oh, is there another number where we can call you back?"

It took 20 minutes to get to the point where I was informed they couldn't help me because I wasn't at home in front of the box.  I told them I'd done all the trouble shooting listed on line, and it still wouldn't work.  That didn't make any difference.  I had to call back and get back in line when I was at home in front of the box (on my cell phone that tends to drop calls in the room where the box is located).  I was assured customer service lines were open 24/7.  I got home and finally decided to try again.  I went back online, and discovered customer service lines aren't open 24/7.  I called and waited on hold.  The recording helpfully suggested I go online and use the trouble shooter to solve my problems.  Finally I got to a person.  Once again I was asked if the out of order number was a good number to use to call me back.  I explained I had rebooted numerous times, that all the cables were securely attached, and that I had the red no service light flashing.  He made me reboot.  I had to tell him the color of each cable and which port it was in.  I had to assure him the cables weren't damaged.  Then he informed me my box was old and out of date and they'd have to send me a new one.  He instructed me that I should transfer one cable at a time to the new box to assure they got into the right port.  I asked how long that would take to get the new box.  Then he said, "Oops, they are on back order." 

Tomorrow morning a technician is supposed to come and replace my box.  I hope the technician brings a box.  I hope that's the problem.  I was also informed it could take up to 4 hours to fix the problem.  It is very strange, not having access to the internet via my computer at home.  The smart phone just can't do everything.  It has been a frustrating week.  Computers in the office were misbehaving today, too.  There are days when technology is not my friend.