My plan Thursday was to take Daughter out to supper, and then take her back to the church for choir. By the time early afternoon I realized I didn't have the energy to wait at the church until choir was over, so I asked Administrative Assistant if she would be willing to take her home after choir. She readily agreed, commenting on how she'd watched my energy level dropping. By 4:30, I realized I wasn't hungry and didn't have the energy to go to a restaurant. I took Daughter to a sandwich shop and let her run in and get a sandwich, then we went back to the house. I called a choir member who lives close by and asked if he would pick up Daughter. He readily agreed.
Yesterday it was noon before I got up. I wasn't hungry, and basically did nothing all day. I never did get dressed. I ate a bit, but not much. Today is better. I was up at 9:00. I've filled my pill boxes for the next 3 weeks and ordered refills. I'm hungry, and actually cooked a meal (though it was noon before I ate).
I have been really down on myself, convinced I was gaining weight and my blood sugar was high. I was delighted today to discover I've lost more weight and my blood sugar was excellent. There is still snow in my yard, but there are also some purple crocuses blooming. I'm still low energy, but today is definitely a better day. I told Daughter I'd pick her up after supper tonight. My early morning meeting for tomorrow is cancelled, so it should be an easier day. My goal for today is to find my dining room table. I'm making good progress, and when I succeed, it will be another boost to my mood.
The other an email went out to the team from a staff member I don't know highlighting Daughter's concerns. Daughter was complaining that she didn't feel safe at program, and was talking about what kind of community job she wanted. The staff member suggested a team meeting was in order. I waited a couple of hours to respond. When I did, I said it was interesting Daughter hadn't told me any of this, but not surprising, in that she knew how I would respond. I suggested that before we have a team meeting we make sure we are all giving her the same messages: "You have a voice and keep yourself safe." "You have to show you can be responsible around food before you get any more freedom."
A staff member I know responded the next day. She had spoken with Daughter, who was no longer complaining about feeling unsafe, and reminded her she had a voice. Daughter does continue to find new audiences for her drama, and she is convincing. I'm glad this one was so easily addressed. I wonder if Home Owner and Case Manager will continue to talk about how I don't try to teach Daughter to be a responsible adult and she manipulates me by complaining that she doesn't feel safe. Probably. It's easier to blame me than to deal with the much more complex reality that is Daughter.