For Daughter, the last thing that happens always overshadows everything else about any event or day. During our two weeks away, we did many things she thoroughly enjoyed, and she expressed her pleasure about these things to me throughout the trip. The last day, we went to worship at the church where we held Mom's memorial service. For Daughter, that became the focus of the entire trip. When someone asks her how her trip was, she says it was terrible and talks about how painful it was for her to worship there again.
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Yesterday, I took her to see Harry Potter and out for her favorite restaurant meal. On the way home, she asked about watching a TV show when we got home. I told her no, because we would be late and she needed to get the trash out and shower before bed, which needed to be on time since she'd been late getting up that morning. She was mad, and the movie and supper were immediately gone from her memory.
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After a few minutes of her sitting next to me pouting, I said, "It's too bad you can't remember that I took you out to a movie and for supper." She continued to pout all the way home, and tried to argue with me about the trash and her shower when we got home. I frustrated her by refusing to engage. This morning she got up and apologized. The only thing she remembers about yesterday is she went to bed mad at me, so for her, the entire day was terrible.
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One day while we were on vacation I had her make a list of the good things, trying to shift her focus away from her complaints. (Once again, being teacher/therapist) I continue to struggle with how to just converse and be with her. The movie and supper were a start yesterday, and I wish she would remember that about our day, and not her frustration with the lack of time for TV in the evening. Even without TV, she was a little late getting to bed last night, and again struggled to get up this morning.
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Tonight I will seek to make our final interactions something fun. If we can end the day on a positive note, maybe that will be her memory of the entire day.
2 comments:
Ugh, same thing here where the monumental part of the day is judged by dd's last rejected request.
I call it the NO game, she keeps going till she gets a NO then argues for my to ' be fair' totally forgetting any Yes's she got that day... the dessert, the tv, the whatever, just focusing on the NO.
Sigh are your sure our kids arend clones. I take the same barn sour horse hiking as you do,,, 'dying' on every hill then prancing back to the barn on turn around.
hey how was Harry Potter? DD wants to go, but at the same time says it will be too scarey for me.
cheers, owl
It is amazing how much alike these kids are.
Harry Potter was good-- it cut out much of the book, which was necessary, but frustrating.
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