Sunday, July 27, 2008

Fall Out

I could have predicted it. I should have predicted it. After her success of the week and her picnic with her buddies at the park. Daughter had a bad day. She slept until noon, and then was argumentative and on edge until bedtime. She was furious about having to clean her bedroom. She was into extra food, she was yelling and cussing at me, and at one point she stormed out of the house.

It was mild, really, in comparison to other times, but there was still the acting out. Success scares Daughter. We have had the discussion many times. She recognizes she’s happier and has more freedom when she is being responsible, but she still is terrified. She doesn’t know how to handle success. I think it must be like the wobbly, exhilerating, fearful feeling of riding a bike without training wheels for the first time. I think, also, that there is the fear that if she becomes responsible she will no longer need me and I will kick her out.

I basically ignored it yesterday. Her yelling and cursing were mild compared to what it has been in the past. Her departure from the house was relatively brief. I stayed calm and didn’t react. By bedtime she was down in my study apologizing and discussing her concerns and fears about Boyfriend. She’s approaching 3 weeks with him—the longest she has ever had a boyfriend.

This morning when I woke her up, she got up with no problem, and put on Christian music as she dressed and made her bed (she hates making her bed). She was happy and cooperative. The fall out is over, and hopefully she’s ready to have another good week. Maybe she can make it longer this time before the fall out. Maybe the fall out will last even less time next time. I celebrate the fact that the good stretches are growing, and the bad stretches are fewer and shorter. Progress is being made.

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