This afternoon there was an indoor labyrinth set up for our use. I let Daughter sleep after lunch, but at 4:00, I woke her up to go with me to the labyrinth. We walked over, and her awesome teacher was explaining it to her. She said, "This is a place of peace," and Daughter began to cry. I held her as she cried, and finally she told me that peace had been a word in Grandma's memorial service.
She didn't want to walk the labyrinth, so she sat with awesome teacher while I walked it. There were slips of paper with Scripture verses for us to take and reflect on while we were walking the labyrinth. The one I picked up said, "The Lord... gathers the outcasts... heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." As I walked I was praying/reflecting on Daughter's current emotional state and the possibility that we will be moving to a new community. I pondered how she will handle it.
The path of the labyrinth goes toward the center and out again, teasing you with the center, and then taking you away from it again. As I prayed for Daughter's healing, I recalled God's presence with us in the past, the way the call to serve in Tiny Village came about, and pondered how there is always strength for the current day's challenges. Right now I don't need the strength for the move, I just need the strength to deal with today's challenges.
As we walked back, I talked to Daughter about grief. I also discovered that she didn't know what grief or peace meant. I explained them to her. She spent some time talking and laughing with the community tonight. I could hear her downstairs, but I sat upstairs, with a smaller group. I decided we both needed time away from each other.
Daughter's tremors are getting worse. I don't know if it's because she's suddenly getting all her psychiatric medications on schedule and she's on too much, or if it's because she's now on a generic version of her seizure medication, and she's having partial seizures. It could also be exhaustion and stress. She slept for 3 1/2 hours this afternoon, and she's been sleeping well at night, too. She didn't want to go to the fireworks tonight. Usually, I make her go. Tonight, I decided to let her go to bed.
The labyrinth and the Scripture verse reminded me that though our path twists and turns, God knows where we need to be and when, and God will bring healing. Daughter will recover from her grief.
3 comments:
What a beautiful activity. Just reading it made me feel more peaceful. Thinking of you. ~Kari
I don't understand. She recognized that peace was a word from her GM's memorial service but she didn't know what it meant?
Peace is a pretty common word. You hear it all the time. She must have heard it before the service. If she doesn't understand the meaning of peace what other simple words and phrases doesn't she understand?
Daughter presents herself well, and I had no idea she didn't understand the concept of peace. It was a word she had heard many times. Her reaction made me wonder if she understood its meaning, which is why I asked. I usually discover by accident that she doesn't understand something. I sometimes correct her usage of a word or phrase. She'll have picked it up someplace, and assumed an incorrect meaning. I will discover it when I hear her use it incorrectly. Right now I'm not thinking of examples, but it happens every so often. She is reluctant to ask for clarification, so will pretend she understands.
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