Mother's Day

I know Mother's Day is hard for many adopted kids, but it generally hasn't been a problem for Daughter. This year was an enormous exception.

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Daughter came home last night from Special Olympics and continued her lying ways. Her blood sugar was running high, so I knew immediately that she hadn't calculated her insulin correctly at lunch time. I asked if maybe she'd guessed on the carbs. She became belligerent, of course. She ended up slamming things around and retreating to her room. She refused to help fill pill boxes or cooperate in any way.

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She also refused to take a shower or eat a snack yesterday evening. She did at least take her pills and her long acting insulin. I went to bed exhausted, and woke up vomiting in the middle of the night. I'm not allowed to be sick on Sunday's, so I was very relieved when I woke up feeling okay this morning. I decided I wasn't going to wake Daughter up this morning. I was tired of being yelled at for speaking to her. I didn't want to hear one more time about how I'm destroying her life. I was rather noisy, though, so she got up on her own. She came into the bathroom and slammed a gift bag on the counter, "Happy Mother's Day."

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I will admit I wasn't in the best of moods, but I quite politely said, "No, thank you."

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She was shocked, to say the least. I simply told her I wanted the truth more than anything else. She stormed back to her room. After much throwing, stomping, and yelling, she finally came down and told me the truth. I thanked her for telling me the truth and asked her what she'd learned. She came clean about ordering the pizza, refusing to work Friday, and about guessing on her carbs yesterday instead of looking them up. Of course, part of the fault lies with the staff member who had not received training on managing Daughter's diabetes. If the coordinator ever responds to my voice messages, we'll have to talk about that.

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I accepted her gift: a votive candle with a cross and a CD of classical music. She has worked hard at making amends today, and has completed all the chores she refused to do the two days she spent pouting. I pointed out to her that every time she talks about moving out on her own, she does something like this to prove she can't handle it. Today, she recognizes that. Tomorrow, she may not remember any of it and may be back to accusing me of destroying her life.

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She has spent the last 90 minutes filling her pill boxes. I'm supervising, but she's doing the work. Last night I filled mine for the month and filled today's for her. She now swears up and down that she'll never refuse to help me fill the pill boxes again. When the pill boxes are done, I'll give her back her cell phone. That was what finally prompted her to tell the truth-- she wanted her cell phone back. I'll have to remember that the cell phone is the best motivator I've yet to find.

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Daughter and I recorded greetings in a card for Mom for Mother's Day. It's impossible to buy her anything because she doesn't have room, and isn't able to do anything anymore. Sister, Niece, Dad and Brother visited her yesterday. She knew them, but was withdrawn and wouldn't engage them. Sister thought she recognized our voices on the card.

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Sister and Niece went back over today. Mom couldn't stay awake, and hadn't eaten much for lunch or breakfast. She hasn't had any urine output today. We suspect that she's dehydrated. Since she is on hospice, if they can't get her to drink, she won't be with us much longer. We've already ruled out IV's and a feeding tube.

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It has not been one of my better Mother's Days....