Sister and Dad

Sister is really struggling with Dad's decline. Unfortunately, she is his medical representative and the way she is dealing with it is by avoiding it. She stopped in for a very brief time today, the first she'd seen him since she took him to the doctor on Wednesday. She hasn't followed through on making sure he has a DNR. She hasn't followed through on increased care so his skin doesn't break down (she got a call yesterday that there are some red spots that are concerning). She hasn't followed through on anything, and instead is obsessing about decisions she needs to make next summer.

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Far Away Sister and I have grown increasingly frustrated with her. She still isn't speaking to me. Far Away Sister told her that without the DNR, if they were to find him in respiratory distress he'd be in the hospital and on a ventilator before anyone could stop it, and then she'd be the one who would have to make the decision to remove him, since she is his medical representative. Even this didn't seem to get her attention.

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Brother called today, and was on his way to see Dad. I asked him to check on the DNR situation and find out what we'd have to do so he wouldn't end up on vent. He was very willing to do this, and hopefully sees the need for it. Dad is now on oxygen 24 hours a day. We weren't aware of that, but his weight is creeping back up-- 7 pounds since Wednesday-- so I'm not surprised that he needs it. I feel bad that Sister isn't making time to just sit and visit with Dad. I may head back up there next weekend.

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I am very frustrated with Sister. I told Far Away Sister that I would have a very difficult time finding any compassion for Sister if Dad ended up in the hospital on a vent. I'm trying hard to be patient, but it's hard. I'm concerned for Dad. He has been so adamant about not wanting a vent. Sister just doesn't see any urgency or need to check things out and make sure he has a living will on file.

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Daughter continues to struggle. An aide took her to Special Olympics bowling today. She called a little while ago. She tried to check her blood sugar but couldn't because she was shaking. I told her to take a deep breath, calm down, and try again. I don't know what she thought I'd do-- drive the 12 miles to check it for her? I made her write up a plan for how she will manage to do some work at the workshop this week. I think I may make her take what she's written in and give it to her supervisor. Of course, I'll have to call to make sure she delivers it, but I'm considering it....

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