Coping

When I woke up this morning, my first thought was, "I didn't get a phone call. Dad lived through the night." Then Sister called to inform me she had talked to Dad and he was feeling great and eating breakfast. Brother got over to the hospital in time to see the doctors and send us text message updates.

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After lunch Daughter called me, sobbing, because she missed Grandma.

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Sister called me, angry, because I knew she had called Dad and "everyone" was accusing her of neglecting Dad. I knew she'd called. It wasn't her fault he couldn't remember. Then she wanted to know if it was okay to buy him generic instead of name brand cough drops.

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Far Away Sister is pricing airline flights and trying to figure out what weekend would work best for a memorial service for Dad. Her husband is currently on a business trip on the other side of the world.

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Secretary informed me I should just pick up Daughter and drive up to where Dad is and demand to speak to the doctor and force everybody to face what's going on.

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This morning Dad told me he was feeling great, but couldn't talk because he was on the commode. This afternoon he was feeling lousy and having lots of pain in his shoulder. I have no idea what that's about.

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Sister claims he looks great and the fact that he's complaining and in pain means he's much improved over yesterday.

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I'm listening and interpreting. I reminded Sister that everybody is stressed and none of us are at our best and I knew she called Dad this morning and it's too bad Dad doesn't remember. I told Daughter that I miss Grandma sometimes, too, and it's okay and she could make it until I picked her up for her appointment with Therapist.

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I finalized the bulletin for Sunday, worked on the newsletter, planned the senior luncheons with 2 other women, found items for our welcome boxes, visited the nursing home, and went shopping for light bulbs and a locking cabinet.

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I have all of our meds locked in 2 file cabinet drawers, but that's not working very well. I've been thinking about getting a cabinet for them, and Therapist and I think it would be a good idea to lock up the knives. Daughter says she's hearing voices again, but we think she's angling to get into the hospital. It's another attempt to run away from her feelings. We offered her another alternative, and she's going to decorate some shoeboxes. She'll have one for sad feelings and one for angry feelings. She can write down the things that are causing those feelings and put them in there so they don't bother her. It worked when we put her worries in an envelope for God. Maybe it will help with her sadness and anger. She's also going to put together a scrapbook or box with pictures and good memories about Grandma. That way she can go look at those things and smile. I'm willing to try anything.