Daughter desperately wants to hang out with Flasher. I have told her I can't control who she chooses for her boyfriend, but because I don't think Flasher is safe, I will not allow him to come here to see her and I won't transport her to see him in Town. At lunch today she suggested that she had heard me say it would be okay if they were supervised. I told her that wasn't the case, and it wasn't okay. She was frustrated and insisted I had said they could hang out if they were supervised. I informed her that I was saying now that even with supervision she couldn't hang out with him.
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I have profound concerns about Flasher. From everything I've seen and heard, he has no impulse control. He reportedly ripped the blouse off a woman. Daughter now insists that didn't happen. I've been around him enough to think that those reports are most likely true.
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On the way home, she told me she had to tell me something. She explained that the story she told me about him exposing himself to her had been a lie. She assured me she knew it was wrong, and was sorry. She said she'd told me the story because she was afraid and wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I told her I believed the first story, and she still couldn't see him. Now she's very angry with me. I've been called a less than pleasant name. I'm supposed to believe her now when she tells me the other story was a lie. I'm not the only one she told the first story, and it fits what happened that day (which at the time didn't seem to make much sense.) It took her several days to get up the courage to tell me about it. The way she told me and her discomfort convinced me it was real. She also told the story to Case Manager.
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I told Daughter that that is the problem with lying, when you tell the truth people don't believe you. She is now back into avoidance mode and is sleeping on the couch right now. She has informed me that she doesn't care what I say, she will see and hang out with the Flasher. That doesn't mean I have to enable it.
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2 comments:
I was telling my bio dd about you today; the fact that I can say to Miss K "your problem, I hope it works out for you", and that you can't. Because you daughter is as oppositional as mine but her oppositional behavior could result in terrible consequences because of her diabetes and her developmental delays.
This thing with Flasher must be so troubling. He sounds like big trouble. I hate hormones. They cause young women to make decisions that are counter to their best interest.
You are an awesome mom. Sticking with her during this hormonal time is heroic. I know you don't want to hear this because I hate these sorts of comments as well, but you are amazing.
Thanks, Maeve. It means a lot to me. I needed some encouragement today.
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