Alaska

This morning when the aide went in to get Dad up, he was sleeping in his recliner. He was cold and clammy, and his blood sugar was very low (in the 40's). When she asked him where he was, he said he was in Alaska. They stuffed him full of orange juice and donuts, and his blood sugar didn't come up very far or very quickly. They couldn't reach Sister, so they called Far Away Sister. They wanted to transport him. Far Away Sister called me as the family expert on diabetes. I said they needed to transport him if his blood sugar hadn't come up after that much food. I also said that the hospital needed to know that he has a DNR order and is not to be put on a vent.

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By the time the paramedics got there, his blood sugar was over 140, and he knew where he was, so they didn't transport him. He already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this afternoon. I spent over 2 hours on the phone with various assorted siblings. At one point all 4 of us were talking to Dad, who was slightly overwhelmed by having all 4 of us on the phone at the same time.

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Next week would have been their 54th wedding anniversary. They had talked about going on an Alaska cruise, but never had the opportunity because of family responsibilities and health issues. I find it significant that Dad thought he was in Alaska. I suspect he was thinking about the cruise that never happened and their upcoming anniversary.

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Sister is having a hard time with all of this. They are making arrangements to have their 13 year old golden retriever put down. He can't get up on his own because of arthritis, and has difficulty swallowing because of a large tumor in his throat, one of many throughout his body. Sister is afraid to talk to the doctor about options, because she feels talking about hospice is the same as putting their golden down. She doesn't want Dad to think she's tired of taking care of him.

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I am convinced that it is time to look into hospice care for Dad. Let's get him a hospital bed so he can sleep with his head elevated and it's easier to breathe. Let's put him on oxygen. He is now carrying so much excess fluid from his congestive heart failure that walking to the bathroom leaves him short of breath and one eye is swollen shut. He's not responding to the diuretics this time. Far Away Sister and I think he and Mom may be together again for their anniversary next week.

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Brother is going to go to the doctor's appointment this afternoon with Sister and Dad. I hope and pray that together they will be able to have the conversation with the doctor and Dad about end of life options. If he's not going to get better, let's make very sure he's comfortable. I wish he'd had this conversation with his doctor years ago. He has told us he doesn't want any extraordinary measures taken. He hasn't told his doctor. The doctor had a hard time letting go with Mom. I think it is going to be even harder for him to let go of Dad.

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This is very hard, especially so soon after Mom's death (June 9th). But for Dad's sake, I hope he is able to spend their anniversary with Mom again. Maybe they can go to Alaska....