Balancing Needs

My congregation needs to worship, and Holy Week is rapidly approaching. They need a newsletter that will highlight the events of Holy Week, and they need to know that their pastor is present for them.

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My Daughter needs stability and to maintain her normal routine for as long as possible. She needs to be protected from too much time with her dying Grandmother, but she needs to be allowed enough access to her to allow her to properly grieve. She needs to be protected from unsupervised access to insulin, medication, and food.

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My family needs to provide one another support but also allow enough space for each of us to deal with things in our own way.

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Mom needs to know that she is loved and appreciated. She needs the peace that comes from being enfolded in love and prayers.

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I need to know I am juggling all these needs appropriately. I had the opportunity to say good bye to Mom on Sunday. I'm grateful for that visit. I'm finding that I'm having difficulty being patient with Daughter. Little things she does all the time are suddenly very annoying. I know I need to be patient and provide comfort and reassurance, but there are times when it's hard. She has a cold, and is coughing some. It's not a severe cough, but yesterday she was telling me how her whole chest and back hurt every time she coughed. She made it sound like she was dying. I know that she's expressing her emotional pain through physical complaints, but I'm not feeling very sympathetic right now. Because she can't be trusted around insulin or medication, it's not practical for us to stay in Dad's apartment any more, which complicates our trip to Michigan.

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The majority of the congregation will be sympathetic and understanding, but there will be others who are going to complain and resent any time I spend away from here. I want to minimize the time I am away, and am having a difficult time figuring out what my needs are in all of this. I'm taking it one day at a time.

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I've arranged for someone to preach this Sunday. I'm going to get newsletter and some planning for Holy Week done today. Tomorrow is senior luncheon and Wednesday night supper and worship. I haven't made any decisions yet about whether I will stay for those things or not. I'm supposed to be making mashed potatoes for the senior luncheon, but haven't decided if I will be here for that or if I will ask someone else to do the mashed potatoes.

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Yesterday Mom was still alert and responsive. This could go on for a while, or she could die very quickly. I'm waiting for a report on how she's doing today. I'm taking it one day at a time. Today, I'm here. I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, but I do know that God will be with me wherever I am.