Case Manager called today. There are no easy answers. I am now in an email conversation with Case Manager, her supervisor, and Residential Coordinator. Everyone acknowledges that there are real problems at the current placement. However, finding a home that can address Daughter's needs is going to be difficult.
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Residential Coordinator actually suggested I bring her home and hire people to help with her care. There would be some funding available to help with that. No amount of money, though, would compensate for the stress and the extra work that hiring and supervising in-home care providers would create.
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The best solution at this point is probably to get her on a waiting list for a home that is equipped to deal with her medical needs while trying to solve the problems at the current placement.
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Daughter is becoming increasingly difficult. She doesn't feel safe, so she's trying to control everything and over reacting to any change in her routine. She complained because she went bowling today and she's not supposed to go bowling on Tuesdays. She likes to bowl. She just couldn't handle the change today. I don't think this is all medication related, I think it is her reaction to the chaos and insecurity at the house.
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I will pray and trust that the right answer will become evident, hopefully soon.
7 comments:
whatever you do, do not return her to your home! think of the past. it is not good for you or her!
doesn't this place have a board or some supervisor higher up that will listen and make changes needed?
apowhatever you do, do not return her to your home! think of the past. it is not good for you or her!
doesn't this place have a board or some supervisor higher up that will listen and make changes needed?
I sent Case Manager an email saying that was not a possibility. It was hard to do, but it was also realistic. I have to think of my health.
I understand that it no doubt was hard to send that e-mail, but you are not going to be any good to her if you are no longer here! Good for you for recognizing that her living at home again is going to push you to the brink. Proud of you for being firm on that front. All the best...as always!
Thanks for the support. My health is not great, and as stressful as this is, living with her is even harder.
I hope you are not pushed to a place where they can make you bring Daughter home. It doesn't sound as if that would be a good idea at all.
I know it's really difficult to say out loud that your kid can't come back home to live. That is what we've been having to do regarding Toots. It's clear that she's not happy anywhere, even when she's at home, and it's dangerous to the mental health of the rest of us.
Daughter and I had a conversation about that last night. She was bugging to come home. I reminded her she wasn't happy here, either. She said, "I guess I'm not happy anywhere." I told her she needed to be happy with herself. She's working on that with Therapist.
I don't want to push the home or the agency so hard that they tell me I have to bring her home. That's one of the reasons I'm being cautious.
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