And the Problem with That?

Last night Daughter came downstairs fuming. She had just gotten off the phone with New Boy Friend. NBF had told her everything that J had said about her. J had told NBF that he didn't want to be with Daughter, and carefully explained why. Daughter informed me that J was telling stories about her and saying things that weren't true, and she was going to get him today.

.

"What has J been saying about you?"

.

"He told NBF that I am a church person and he shouldn't be around me because I am a goody two shoes and a control freak."

.

"What's wrong with going to church?"

.

"Nothing! NBF said he doesn't have a problem with me going to church."

.

"Do you understand what J was telling him?"

.

"What do you mean?"

.

"J was telling NBF that you are a Christian and that you have clear boundaries and you aren't going to have sex with him."

.

"No he wasn't! He said I was churchy and a goody two shoes and a control freak."

.

"But that's what he meant."

.

We talked some more, but I told that it was wonderful that that was what J was saying about her, and she should be proud. She told me that she and J had talked, and he believes sex should wait until marriage, too. I'm skeptical, but at least he knows the right words to say to her.

.

This morning she told me she was still mad. I suggested she go in and say to J, "Thank you for noticing that I am a Christian!"

.

She was at least able to smile at that suggestion. With all the problems she's had and the terrible things she's said to me, I am grateful that she represents the values I have tried to teach her at the workshop.