Sunday Challenges

Daughter was in rare form yesterday. She informed me she was too sick to go to church. She didn't have any specific complaints, she just was sick. You'd think by now she would realize that won't fly with me. My policy has always been that unless she has a raging fever or has thrown up in front of me, she's going. I've always said I'll pick her up later if she really is sick, but she's going. The same applied yesterday.
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We got there and she promptly fell asleep in my study, though Administrative Assistant convinced her to get up and go to worship and sing with the choir. She was fairly cooperative right after worship, and we got a quick lunch before coming home for a few minutes. I watched some football, and then we went to pick up one of the saints and go to a local retirement home to lead worship.
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When we got home, I watched the end of the game, and then decided I was going to tackle the lawn. I'd wanted to get out there since Friday to mow and take care of the leaves, but the weather hadn't cooperated. I decided that it had dried up enough to go out and do it, especially since I knew it was going to be a challenge to find time during the week to do it, since I have evening commitments Monday-Thursday. I didn't want to wait until Friday to do it. So, I had the audacity to ask Daughter to sweep the leaves off the small patio. She thought it was stupid to out and to the yard. Her new thing is to express her frustration (and she has a very low tolerance for frustration) by swearing, throwing and slamming things around.
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I have to give her credit. She did sweep the patio. Often in her frustration she refuses to do anything. I was catching the leaves and clipping, which meant I was stopping and starting the mower with great frequency. After dumping the catcher about 20 times and filling my allotted six cans of yard waste, I had to switch to mulching. By this time I had made it to the back yard, where Daughter was still sweeping and fuming. She said, "If I don't get out of here and into a group home soon, there will be he** to pay!" She said she was going to call Case Manager and make her find her a place immediately. I told her she needed to make sure it was the right place. She informed me she didn't care, as long as it was away from here.
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I think that's why she's being so difficult, she's rejecting me before I reject her by "getting rid of her." She still has been told explicitly that we are looking for a placement for her, but I'm confident she knows. As soon as I find out if this placement is a go, we'll begin talking to her about the transition.
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About 8:00 she "discovered" she'd wet the bed overnight. She insisted she had no idea, and she hadn't felt the wetness in the morning. I work real hard at not reacting to the bed wetting. If she wets the bed, she needs to take a shower and wash her sheets. I've taught her how to do that herself. She hadn't taken a shower yesterday morning, so I told her she needed to take one after she put her linens in the wash. That prompted 15 minutes of throwing and slamming.
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I ignore her when she's acting out this way. I have told her multiple times it's not acceptable behavior, but any attempt by me to get her to stop will cause her to escalate. As tends to be the pattern lately, she began the day today by apologizing for her behavior yesterday. She then informed me she couldn't go to her program today. I didn't laugh in her face. She is on the bus.
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I realized yesterday evening that I'm staying up too late so I'll be exhausted when I go to bed. My hope is that if I'm so exhausted I fall asleep right away, I won't think about all that is going on and worry about the placement. I know the move is going to be hard for both of us. I know it's time. I know that she'll test and manipulate them and create crises. I'd like to go to sleep and wake up in a year when she has settled in to her new home and is happy. Of course, there's no guarantee she'll ever be happy anyplace. I aim to have a peaceful and happy life in spite of her.