It's a roller coaster around here right now. Daughter will start a sentence with, "When I move...." When I respond, she starts yelling about how she's not going and it's not right. We're talking a lot about how hard it is to move, and how good it will be once she adjusts. One minute she's making plans, the next she's insisting she won't go.
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The good part is that she's very affectionate right now, and fairly helpful. I am tackling all the paper work that has piled up in the office/guest room. Some of it has been sitting on top of the desk since we moved in a year ago. I'm filing and tossing. Daughter, after protesting, has been shredding. The bed in there will go with her (though with a new headboard). The futon in the family room will go in there, and I'm getting a new couch for the family room next Saturday. Of course, she won't be moved by then. I think we'll take the bed out and stack it in the hall, that will make room for the futon to be moved into its new home.
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Part of the sorting is necessary to find the paperwork I need to complete this move. I have set aside an entire file drawer for Daughter's paperwork. I've been procrastinating on the paperwork. I am really struggling with this move. I know intellectually that this is the right move for both of us, but my heart aches. I haven't lived alone in over 21 years. It's going to be hard.
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For the past year, the office/guest room has been locked. It was where I put things I didn't have room for in the locked kitchen pantry cupboards. Once Daughter moves I will be able to open the door. I think when the door is open I will make use of the desk in there more.
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Lots of changes are coming. I'm sure I haven't even pondered the ripple effect of all of them. We're both moving into new chapters in our lives and relationship. Most of the time I'm looking forward to the new chapter.
3 comments:
Both of you are lucky to have this planning time, I think. It helps with the transition. She's doing what K's therapist used to call "two-way thinking". Wanting to be independent and being afraid to be independent. And, I expect that you're having two-way thinking yourself. Being alone is hard after you haven't been alone for decades. I've learned in the last couple of weeks that I would have a really hard time being alone. If my son, his SO, and Mr. Liam weren't here I think I'd go looking for a housemate. Glad I don't have to do that since it would be hard to do.
Two-way thinking. Was that the famous Miss Lily? It certainly does sum up our situation here.
Actually it was Miss Lily. Seems like only yesterday. Chicago is lucky to have her.
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