Frustrations

I've been dealing with Daughter's ever growing pharmacy bill off and on since she moved out.  I'd call, they'd say, "Oh, there are mistakes.  I'll get them fixed and send you a new bill."  I'd ask for an itemized statement.  I'd never get the corrected bill or itemized statement.  This happened several times.  A year ago the agency got involved, and assured me they'd get it fixed.  After all, the pharmacy is located in their building and has a contract with them.  We're required to use it.  So they said we'll figure it out. Except they never did.


I finally held Daughter's spending money for 3 months and sent them that plus an insurance check.  I enclosed a letter outlining my frustration.  I also sent in the paperwork to the agency to determine Daughter's ability to pay.  This week I got responses.  The pharmacy returned my check as totally inadequate, and demanded I pay.  They sent me an itemized bill (through July) and highlighted corrections.  The agency decided to allow Daughter $20 a month for copays.  Her July copays were over $40.


The Home Owner called Daughter to talk to her about the food she took from the freezer.  I'm not sure what was said, but Daughter called me following the conversation, furious and yelling at me.  I told her when she was calmer and could show me proper respect, we'd talk, and hung up on her.  She claims HO told her she was never to bring up her past again. 


I asked if Home Owner could lock the freezer or put an alarm on the garage door.  She ignored my email, as she often seems to do. 


I began contemplating bringing Daughter home.  I sent Case Manager an email indicating I was pondering this.  Case Manager asked agency to deal with the pharmacy issues and consider increasing Daughter's allowance for copays.  She also said the only reason Daughter tells me she isn't safe is because she knows that hooks me, and any problems have been minor.


I responded that for others they would seem minor, but not for Daughter.  I told her Daughter and I haven't talked about her not being safe.  When Daughter tells me she doesn't feel safe, I inform her she is has a voice and I have confidence in her ability to keep herself safe.  I explained that I know Daughter doesn't feel safe for two reasons:  She is waking up at 3:00 in the morning and can't go back to sleep.  I've been problem solving with Daughter and am going to put her lullaby CD on her ipod and give her some new ear buds so she can listen to that when she wakes up.  I explained that the 3:00 wakings happen when her PTSD has been triggered.  I also pointed out that she was testing the house to see if they would keep her safe, including from herself.  I said if they didn't secure the food in the freezer, Lena would start eating the meat to prove she still had access. 


Case Manager emailed Home Owner to ask about the sleep issues and find out if she was going to lock the freezer.  Home Owner said Daughter has been waking up at 3 or 4 to go to the bathroom, but indicated she then goes back to bed.  Of course, that doesn't mean she's sleeping.  She also is going to begin locking the freezer and get the alarm on the garage door repaired. 


For right now, Daughter will stay there.  I don't see it as a long term solution.  At this point, my emails often go unanswered and any mention of problems result in angry accusations.  I don't see how this house can work long term.  I also am frustrated that they don't listen to me when I seek to explain Daughter.  They are triggering my PTSD.  I'm tired of being blamed for Daughter's issues.  I wasn't the one who molested her at 3:00 in the morning when she was 2 years old.  I'm tired.